So talking about religious politicians would be a no-no?

 

It might have been a dumb joke, but I don't see the bigotry. Unless your comment was itself a joke. If so, I'm still confused.

 

It was half "turnabout is fair play," but the other half was pointing out that a racist, classist joke against rural white people, implying they're sodomitical rapists is still bigotry, even though they're not a federally protected minority. I don't have a problem with those jokes, just like I don't have a problem with political jokes, gay jokes, black jokes, whatever, but I figured, if we're going to have a standard, it should be consistent.

On the other hand, I do believe this is the only time I will ever get to use the term "sodomitical."

 

That joke was told to me by a rural white person in West Virginia. Me, being a city person. He was getting one over on me.

 

 

 

What makes a Yugo go faster? A tow truck.
Why do Yugos have a rear window defroster? So you can keep your hands warm while you're pushing it.
A man goes into an auto parts store and asks, "Can you give me a cigarette lighter for my Yugo?" "Sure, sounds like a fair trade to me."
What do you call a Yugo with a flat tire? A write-off.
What do you call a Yugo at the top of a hill? A miracle.
What do you call the Yugo owner's manual? The bus timetable.
How can you double the worth of a Yugo? By filling its gasoline tank.
What is the smallest part of a Yugo? The owners brain.
What do you call someone who buys a secondhand Yugo? A scrap dealer.
What does a Yugo buyer do to look sophisticated? Wears dark glasses.
How do you tell the Yugo buyer from all the other people with dark glasses? Their the ones with the white sticks. Why do they give away free TVs with Yugos? So you've got something to do while waiting for the mechanic to come and fix it.
What do you call a Yugo with twin exhausts? A wheelbarrow.
What is the difference between a Yugo and a golf ball? You can drive a golf ball 360 yards.

 

And all the millennials out there are asking "What's a Yugo?".

 

I'm on the tail end of gen x; I mean, they define millenials, sometimes, as born 1980 on, and I squeaked into 79 by a month and some, and I have never seen one in the wild that I recall. I did watch videos of them for fun, however.

 

I’m sure I saw some back when they were infesting the roadways, but as with other totally non-interesting items, I have little recollection of them. Most of what I know comes from seeing them in the movie “Throw Moma from the Train” .

 

What do you call a yugo with 4 doors? A wego.

 

 

 

You know you're from Texas when... Missing my second home!

 

 

Must be a Mopar thing.

 

The tire is still good. Just don’t hit the curb

 

 

 

Customer walks into the parts store...

Customer "I need a headlamp"

Clerk "What's it for?

Customer "Seriously?...So I can see at night!"

 

His heating system is fixed

 

 

WAY OF THE MOB

Two Mafia hitmen are walking deep into a forest in the middle of the night.

One of them says, "I gotta admit I'm scared out here."

The other replies, "You're scared?! I gotta walk back alone!!!"

 

Frank - That was a good one!

 

Grandma and Grandpa were visiting their kids overnight. When Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in his son's medicine chest, he asked about using one of the pills.
The son said, "I don't think you should take one, Dad. They're very strong and very expensive."
" How much?" asked Grandpa. "Ten dollars a pill," answered his son.
"I don't care, I'd still like to try one. Before we leave in the morning, I'll put the money under the pillow."
Later the next morning, the son found $110 under the pillow. He called Grandpa and said, "I told you each pill was ten dollars, not $110."
"I know," said Grandpa. "The other hundred is from Grandma."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When NASA was preparing for the Apollo project, some of the training of the astronauts took place on a Navajo reservation.

One day, a Navajo elder and his son were herding sheep and came across the space crew. The old man, who spoke only Navajo, asked a question that his son translated. "What are these guys in the big suits doing?"

A member of the crew said they were practicing for their trip to the moon. The old man got all excited and asked if he could send a message to the moon with the astronauts. Recognizing a promotional opportunity, the NASA folks found a tape recorder.

After the old man recorded his message, they asked his son to translate it. He refused. The NASA PR people brought the tape to the reservation, where the rest of the tribe listened and laughed, but refused to translate the elder's message.

Finally, the NASA crew called in an official government translator. His translation of the old man's message was: "Watch out for these guys; they have come to steal your land."

 

Same son sends his son to stay with Grandpa and Grandma...

Grandpa is sitting on the porch with no pants.
Grandson: "Grandpa you can't sit out here with no pants on"
Grandpa: Stares across the hay field tilts his head a bit
Grandson:"Come on Grandpa get in the house and put some pants on"
Grandpa: " Yesterday I set out here with no shirt and got this stiff neck, this was mothers idea"....

 

Huh???

 

I’ll take my chances with a Harbor Freight jack stands

 

What does an Amish guy drive ?


An Oatsmobile .

 

Would that make him an Oatsmotive Engineer ?

 

You know what you can find at the end of a rainbow?

 

An Englishman’s wife steps up to the tee and, as she bends over to place her ball on the tee, a gust of wind blows her skirt up and reveals her lack of underwear. “Good God, woman! Why aren’t you wearing any undies?” her husband demanded. “Well, you don’t give me enough housekeeping money to afford any.” The Englishman immediately reaches into his pocket and says, “For the sake of decency, here’s £20. Go and buy yourself some underwear.”

Next, the Irishman’s wife bends over to set her ball on the tee. Her skirt also blows up to show that she too is wearing no undies. “Blessed Virgin Mary, woman! You’ve no undies. Why not?” She replies, “I can’t afford any on the money you give me.” He reaches into his pocket and says, “For the sake of decency, here’s £10. Go and buy yourself some underwear!”

Lastly, the Scotsman’s wife bends over. The wind also takes her skirt over her head to reveal that she, too, is naked under it. “Sweet mudder of Jesus, Aggie! Where are yer drawers?” She too explains, “You dinna give me enough money ta be able ta affarrd any!” The Scotsman reaches into his pocket and Says, “Well, fer the love’ O Jesus, here’s a comb. Tidy yerself up a bit.”

 

Who wants to ride shotgun?