Humor de jour XIII
Registered User
Joined: Apr 2012
Posts: 2,972
From: New Mexico
A few minutes before the church services started at the 10 am Sunday Mass at Sts. Peter & Paul in rural Minnesota, the parish congregation was sitting in their pews and chatting quietly among friends. Suddenly, in a flash of light, Satan appeared in front of the congregation!
Everyone started screaming and running for the exits, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from the evil incarnate.
Soon the church was empty except for Bertrand Eisenmeier, an elderly retired farmer who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence. So Satan walked up to the man and said, "Do you know who I am?"
Bertie replied, "Ya, sure do."
"Aren't you afraid of me?" Satan asked.
"Nope, sure ain't," said the old farmer.
"Don't you realize I can kill you with one word?" asked Satan.
"Don't doubt it for a minute," returned the old man, in an even tone.
"Did you know that I can cause you profound, horrifying AGONY for all eternity?" persisted Satan.
"Ya," was the calm reply.
"And you are still not afraid?" asked Satan.
"Nope," said the old guy.
More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, "Why aren't you afraid of me?
Bertie calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for 57 years."
Everyone started screaming and running for the exits, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from the evil incarnate.
Soon the church was empty except for Bertrand Eisenmeier, an elderly retired farmer who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence. So Satan walked up to the man and said, "Do you know who I am?"
Bertie replied, "Ya, sure do."
"Aren't you afraid of me?" Satan asked.
"Nope, sure ain't," said the old farmer.
"Don't you realize I can kill you with one word?" asked Satan.
"Don't doubt it for a minute," returned the old man, in an even tone.
"Did you know that I can cause you profound, horrifying AGONY for all eternity?" persisted Satan.
"Ya," was the calm reply.
"And you are still not afraid?" asked Satan.
"Nope," said the old guy.
More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, "Why aren't you afraid of me?
Bertie calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for 57 years."
stellar
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 1,366
From: Pittsburgh Pa.
Mickey Mouse goes before the judge seeking a divorce from Mini Mouse
The Judge : I'm sorry Mickey, but I can't grant a divorce just because you think Mini is crazy.
Mickey: I didn't say she was crazy your Honor. I said she was F..ing Goofy.
The Judge : I'm sorry Mickey, but I can't grant a divorce just because you think Mini is crazy.
Mickey: I didn't say she was crazy your Honor. I said she was F..ing Goofy.
Banned
Joined: Oct 2012
Posts: 6,265
Oh now you got the jokes. Ha ha. She did plenty of modeling back in the day. She was in Street Rodder a few times and their calendar also in I want to say in 97 or 07. Boating magazines etc. She was actually in Playboy not as a Playmate but in a biker girls pictorial. That picture was taken in Sturgis by the way.
Last edited by no1oldsfan; Jan 19, 2022 at 02:27 PM.
