Long time ago, I remember my brother, Dad and I went camping in Jasper Natl Park. Dad always wanted to get the most out of every trip, so we would always go to the nature walks at different places and the night time amphitheatre presentations. Here's how I learned the "smart" way to use science as a kid. Heres an example, even Sandy will understand.....

We were at Maligne Canyon (on one of the highest bridges) and the Ranger stopped us and told us how to use a Barometer (a scientific device used to measure atmospheric pressures at different elevations) to determine the depth of the canyon. You could see it was deep, but it was anyones guess how far down the water really was. Anyway, heres how it works.
1. Stabilze your barometer at the top for about 5 minutes and take the reading.
2. Lower the barometer to where its just touching the water and let it stay there for 5 minutes to stablize the reading.
3. Quickly bring the barometer back up and record the new reading.
4. Measure the string that was used, and that's the depth of the canyon!

Can't believe we all fell for that.....sad day for the Ranger....as he was lowered over the side by the lynching mob.....

 

 

.....Heres an example, even Sandy will understand.....


Allan R... you are now officially on my list of ****$!!!!! I believe you're 3rd!!!


.....Can't believe we all fell for that.....


Did you have blonde hair?? That is a funny story!

 

Doody doody....I guess that means you read it all the way to the end huh??

 

yes I did!

 

Hey, nice looking signature line. I thnk I might have to send in a request too. Maybe put Cutlassgal in a darker color though, it's....as Redgoat would say.....amostest imbizable.....meanin hard to c......

 

Crap, I read it to the end too. Poo on you...

 

I'm sooo proud....I'm unleashing the dancing monkeys on ya Top that ....Redgoat....

 

Ooohhh.... Come on Redgoat.... accept the challenge!!!

 

Ever wonder why it's so damn cold in Canada? You look at the weather forecast and get the hee bee jee bees? In Coer d'Alene it's a balmy 72 degrees and you look north at the frozen north wasteland called Canada and think, Those poor bastards. Why would anyone want to live in a land that hardly ever gets warmer than 22 degrees?

The secret of Celsius temperatures:

Say you live in aaahhhh Oregon (like 2blu442) and it's 70 degrees. You're feeling like what the heck, I'm gonna go up to Alberta and take a truck load of 455/400 eng/trans up to my buddies Allan R and 442much in Edmonton. Then you look at the forecast for Edmonton - it's only 21 degrees there! Do you still hop in the truck with that load of gold?

Answer: Of course you should. Allan R and 442much will treat you to a BBQ that would embarrass the proudest polynesian. You see, 21 degrees Canadian (eh) - had to say that, eh - is really the same temp as 70 US. Here's how you do the quick and easy science math! It works every time!

for + temperatures only:
take the base US temp and multiply by 2 (easy for anyone, even those without a calculator). 21 X 2 = 42
Now you take away about 1/10 of that. 42-4=38
Add that to 32 and you've got degrees F 38 + 32 = 70

Ok, it's a heat wave in the States, temperatures are climbing into high 80's and you look in envy at those lucky bastards over in Ontario who are enjoying a beautiful cooool 33 degree day. Or are they??
33 X 2 = 66
subtract about 1/10 66 - 7 = 59
add 32 59 + 32 = 91
Ok, Toronto doesn't have much trouble getting this hot during the summer, but it's also humid, making it feel like 102. They call it a "humidex" factor.

for minus temps it works much the same:

You wake up and it's 45 degrees outside with light rain
Checking the international forecast, you note that its cold enough in Canada to freeze the ***** off a brass monkey.YOUR RIGHT, it's cold up here. Seems to be a trend that just won't quit. We get colder here than a witches heart. Only thing you do different converting US to Canuck is remembering your grade 5 math (or did you flunk that?)

John still wants to come up to Alberta and deliver a couple of "numbers matching" 67 442's to his buddies Allan R and 442much. Looks at the forecast....no snow but it's bloody -14 in Edmonton. Does John fire up the Freighliner and head north? Sure!!! He knows that he's gonna still get a BBQ that a Hawaiian king would kill for while sipping suds from his own keg, and relaxing in the 12 man hot tub filled with 10 luscious babes in front of a 61 inch flatscreen showing re-runs of past superbowl cheerleaders. But he's gotta fortify himself for the trip, so he does the math:

-14 X 2 = -28 (his teeth start rattling just looking at this number. Don't flock off on me yet John...)
subtract 1/10 it works out like this: -28 - (-3) = -25. Remember G5 math? When you subtract a negative like this, it works like this -28 +3 = -25(Stay with me John, ya don't need woolies or electric butt warmers yet)
Nowthis is where you either pass grade 5 math or not
Add 32 and you get +7 US degrees, obviously warm enough to deliver cars to buddies.

Works all the time.
When it's -40 here, its -40 there! I'll prove it using weird science....

-40 X 2 = - 80
subtract 1/10 .... -80 - (-8) = -72
-72 + 32 = -40 (check your calculator if you want) But either way you shake a stick at it, it works. Only major difference, it's easier to accept in the summer....and for u folks who read this through to here, you're now smarter than a 5th grader!!

 

Thank you Jeff Foxworthy! LOL

 

Is that a Canadian or American 5th Grader ????

 

:d:d:d

 

Yer absolutely welcome little darlin! Any time y'all want, c'mon down an we'll treat ya right neighborly. Gotta wonder bout my friend Ken though...One day he was drivin his 442 into Edmonton and he gotta flat. Stopped in at the tire store on the corner and went inside. "hep ya?" asked the guy behind the counter? Sure said Ken, pointing to his car. Whattaya think? The guy looked at the car and said, "Is that there tire gone flat?". Nope said Ken, the other 3 just swelled right up and I don't know what to do. By the way, here's your sign!

Doesn't matter to me, long as I don't hafta go back to gr 5. I use ta remember grade 5, it was the 3 finest years of my life. I specially liked the cipherin. Why by the time I was 15 I could blaze my way through timezits and goesintas faster than a one armed bandit could swaller quarters in Vegas.

We teachum good learnin up here! When my boy was just startin grade 5 we was drivin home from school one day and outta the blue he blurts out: "Dad, check out that 16 truck, it's super bad wicked and cool". Well I looked everywhere but couldn't see no dang 16 truck nowhere. Whats it look like I asked? "Comin up right beside ya" he said. I looked and all I could see was cuzzin Marcies Ford. I looked at my boy an asked him" Y'all messin with my head?" "Nope" he answered. "lookey there" he said an pointed to the only back panel that wasn't dented all up. In bold red, there it was for all the world to see 4X4. Dang he's a good little cipherin machine!
Do I qualify for redneck of the year yet???

 

I love Bill Engvall's Here's your sign jokes!!! Those guys are soooo funny! I saw Larry the Cable Guy a couple years ago and he signed my T-shirt. He is tooooo funny!

Yep, you're in the runnin!!

 

Sandy, here's a sure fire way to find out if you're smart, Einstein, or stoopid. Check out this link its a fun game to play. http://www.flashbynight.com/test/ More times you do it the better you get!!! (mostly cause the answers don't change)

I scored 85 so I'm right up there with dat freaken Einstein!

 

1) Pick your favorite number between 1 and 8


2) Multiply your choice by 3


3) Add 3


4) Multiply again by 3


5) You'll get a 2 digit number.....maybe 42, for example


6) Add the digits together. Example 4 and 2 = 6


Now Scroll down.


With that number, see who your ROLE MODEL is from the list below:






1. toro68

2. Cutlassgal

3. Bluevista and redgoat

4. 442much

5. OLD SKL 69

6. citcapp

7. The Stickman

8. Bulldog

9. Allan R

10. 70 cutlass s

11. Jamesbo

12. Olds 64



I know, I know...I just have that effect on people...
One day you, too, can be like me....Believe it!

P.S. Stop picking different numbers!!
I AM YOUR IDOL, JUST DEAL WITH IT!!!!!!

 

I'm not worthy.

 

X2 I just hang my head and cry

 

x 3 :d

 

I'm 20.2% smarter than the average person, according to the test, yet I try to unlock my toolchest with my car key fob, and suck at posting things on the computer. Hmmm? I hit my thumb with a hammer once, it made it SMART!

 

Just like one of those afghan guys bindere dundat......me too....sometimes tests don't mean squat do they???

Probably smart enough not to let you touch the hammer again!!! Owwwwww, done that too. Couldn't agree more..

Of course you are Andy. Just take my name out of 9th spot and put in yours!!!

Pat, you'll get over it. Sometimes a good cry works wonders....I know how hard it is to be a role model.....at least a good one anyway..

Jamesbo, I scuprized!!! Yer not supposed to be awake yet......and Cutlassgal hasn't had a chance to put in her fitty cents.....I fully expect to move up to 2nd place on her Sh*! list. I'm soooooo exciticated!!! C'mon back?