No argument there.

Should we have some sort of an FAQ note about not expecting immediate responses from people who do not sell on line for a living?

- Eric

 

I think each party should express expectations and agree to the conditions and timeline at the point of sale. Communication should circumvent a repeat of these unfortunate events.

 

Whooaa big fella. Really? I should have to ask for your confidentiality in a PM??? And if you disclosed something you expected confidentiality with to me in a PM and I posted it, you'd be happy or ok with that simply because I thought it would enhance a discussion? I don't think so. I for one do expect confidentiality without having to ask for it as a course of normal consideration. That's exactly why the majority people expect PMs to stay confidential and the major reason why that feature exists - especially due to interaction between total strangers or friends who just haven't met yet.

But no expecation of confidentiality? I call BS from my end. From your perspective maybe. Look at your User CP and go to the messages section. It says "PRIVATE MESSAGES" not "Public - feel free to post contents on the site". Ok, maybe I'm just being **** here, and I apologize if it causes an affront because I really do respect you and your opinions, BUT private; according to Webster's means
and in this context because the PM was directed to you, not a group (as in a CC that typically goes to group for discussion / feedback prior to decision making) it should not be made public. It's really no different (in a very simplistic analogy) than what you say in your home is private - but what you say outside is public. I honestly believe that PM was sent to you in the spirit of 'strictly private' and not for public viewing, ok? We obviously have differences in the interpretation of this, and it's not the hill I want to die on because I do value your friendship.

Exactly, but you took it to the level of public without even asking him permission by making a unilateral decision and just telling him you would do this? IMO, that's not cricket my friend. That was a one sided decision and it should have been 2 sided.

Yeah, I get that some PM's are for things like part sales and info exchanges that we don't want to post on the forum. I've asked guys to send me their email addresses in a PM so we can exchange info via home email. I don't trust the site for putting personal information on a public display (ph #'s, Email address, price discussions, political discussions etc) because it is routinely scoured by bots. I accept that and work within it.. Heck we've exchanged stuff that way too, and we both found it was better to use our home emails to avoid plugging up the inbox on CO. Things like technical advice and general information sharing I have no problem with, as long as you take off the header that identifies the contributor. Heck you use the Wrap feature to extrapolate the content of some of those messages prefixed with " I got this question about....and answered it this way...' without it becoming personal.

I would be waiting for a long time. By your own admission on many threads, you're too cheap to do that..... But I would not publicize the contents simply because I treat things like that as 'personal/confidential' since they are addressed to me, and not the world.

Ah ha ha ha ha, Good one. After you just finished saying:
Why on Earth would you now expect to install Rules to communicate by? Does this mean you would pander to the overwhelming minority of folks who engage in e commerce and don't understand the way it works, how to broker deals or recognize timelines? It is what it is. Let them duke it out themselves and learn a life lesson. I can only surmise that Brian wishes there were classes for this, but it would be more appropriate to install as a learning feature on all computers sold instead of a singular website. And you know that's not gonna happen my friend.

Or before the time of sale, as I stated earlier. Still, good advice.

 

So if the 2 parties post agreement, I will delete this thread.

 

And delete all this stimulating conversation??

 

Usually what I've seen in situations like this is a moderator closes or locks the thread which leaves it viewable but no one can post on it any longer. Then it just fades into the sunset, or oblivion - whichever comes first. When I questioned why, I was told that it serves a purpose to keep a thread that others can learn from. Ok, that's about it.

 

Maybe your credibility is impacted by acting like a PM is a state secret.

Maybe your credibility is impacted by not letting Ronald speak for himself.

IMHO, you should delete your threads.

You continue to behave they way you want and I will do them same.

 

Nope, I never said it was a state secret - that's something you conjured up. My credibility is not at stake here either unless I do or say something really really dumb. I'm not a stupid person so that's not going to happen.

BTW, I don't see where you are better than others with your second statement either.

Maybe this whole thread will be deleted; I'm sure that would make a lot of folks happier to not to see all this baggage piling up. If not, I'll leave my statements stand. You do the same. My comment was a suggestion which you seem to have interpreted as a directive.

Site behavior is what it is. We have a moderator watching and participating in this thread, so if you feel what I said was out of line, please report it. If your position is supported, I will publicly apologize to you and Eric L. If not? It stays as is. I think that's fair.

This doesn't mean I don't value or accept opinions and advice you have to offer. I am not attacking you or Eric L, lets get that straight, so please don't attack me. Far as I see this, our exchanges are still at the reasonable state of mild disagreement, that's all.

IMO, Eric had it right when he said this. Don't get the idea that I'm siding with Ronald, I'm not. I don't agree with what he did, and I think Brian got the short end of the stick. Just that I don't think it was fair to publish a PM from Ronald without his knowing. I obviously see the confidentiality of PMs differently than you and Eric L do. Something I'll ask the site administrators to review and/or clarify so we all have an accurate benchmark to work with.

 

The reason for this thread was to share what happened on a specific transaction with a certain board member. Unfortunately history does repeat itself from what I learned through the years. That is why I post items of this nature when things occur.

The USA has has freedom of speech and I at times utilize it. I know what happened and it's factual what I put out there. No BS. The truth does hurt some people at times. People make choices and then excuses.

But I'm not sure what all of this additional rant is in this thread.

I have dealt with many different individuals in my life and handled issues daily. Up until 2 months ago I was working for an insurance company handling peoples complaints and concerns. So I have a habit of writing facts. 9 years of that was enough.

I don't want this thread deleted but woulld appreciate other members to remove posts that are off my topic and can start their own thread if they choose to battle.

 

Like I said earlier if the 2 parties agree. Since they don't...thread stays.

Allan I do see your point on the PM's, however I also see Eric's. If the person asked in his PM that the conversation remain private then I believe Eric should not and I assume would not have posted it.

It's been an educational exchange of opinions on how a simple $20 transaction can easily go awry and ways to circumvent the issues in the future. I firmly believe this transaction issue should of been handled in private, but that's my opinion.

 

Allan, I will not argue with you about the sanctity of PMs, as we've each made our points, and I think we made them clearly. We disagree.
As Eric said, had Ronald asked me not to share anything in his PM, I would have complied, but if you read the PM, you will see that there is nothing in it that he did not also say directly on this thread, so I believed, and believe, that posting it was within the bounds of acceptability.

- Eric

 

I said acting like it was a state secret - please reread.

Everyone's credibility is at stake every time they voice their opinion, yours included.

I'm not going to report you to a moderator. There is nothing to report.

I don't need a benchmark for PMs. Asking the moderator to clarify will lead to more rules, police and interpret the rules - because there is always gray areas. Just what this site doesn't need.

Why can't it just be three people with a difference of opinion ?

If your statement is true and my credibility has been harmed i want all members who feel the same to please don't buy anything from me, don't sell anything to me, don't use any of he info I have posted, don't PM me and please put me on ignore.

No feelings will be hurt.

 

it could be I guess, until it's posted on a public forum open to discussion/critique by any of the members.

Maybe we're all just over reacting to a situation that none of us own. This discussion actually is a benefit to me, and I hope to others who sell or will sell on line. This thread and exchanges are hardly the basis for discounting your contributions to C.O. and the Old community. MDchanic and I chatted and are good with moving on with no hard feelings, hope you can be too.

 

Doesn't PM stand for PRIVATE message? Meaning it shouldn't be shared in public unless both parties agree. I could be wrong but I was under impression that this is how it works and the feature was there for the whole purpose of not sharing on a public forum.

 

Im not in the least bit bothered or worked up over this. I got thick skin.

If you want to draw into my question my credibility , go right ahead.

It's an Internet forum owned by Marketing/Spamming machine which i despise. If I have broken their rules by making a PM public, issue me a warning and ill be on my way to more important things.