Twas The Night before Christmas CO style
December 6th, 2012, 09:40 AM
#1
Registered User
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: South River, New Jersey
Posts: 3,515
Twas The Night before Christmas CO style
T'was the night before Christmas, and all through the shop
My engine wasn’t firing, not even a pop.
I tried everything I could think of, as my eye started to tear,
I sure wish Dr.Olds or Joe P was frikkin here.
More parts were nestled all snug in the shed,
Manifolds, carburetors and aluminum heads.
And mamma in her ‘kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had tried to figure out what was wrong with my crap.
When out of the ‘puter there arose such a clatter,
The Boys at Classicolds want to see what’s the matter.
Away to the keyboard I flew like a flash,
Tripped on a shoe and nearly broke my (um Ash).
The boys on the forum said they would give it a go
Check the fuel pump, the spark plugs and the timing below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
A lose wire to the coil, man ....I need a beer.
With a little old screwdriver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it would do the trick.
More rapid than eagles, the advice that came,
And I whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!
"Thanks Brian! Now, Joe! Thanks Richard! And Allan!
Thanks Craig! And Eric! And the dude on Long Islan'!
The problem was found, nothing major at all!
A loose wire to the coil! It’s always something small
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
So up to the house and the fridge I flew
For a well earned Christmas brew or two
I was so merry and happy my problem was fixed
Nothing more than a wire, a gremlin up to tricks.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of little reindeer hoofs.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Into the kitchen St Nicholas came with a bound.
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.
A bundle of parts he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler, just opening his pack.
His eyes-how they twinkled! His dimples how merry!
“Have a look at these parts”, he said “every one of is cherry”!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
He said “there’s really isn’t anything like New Old Stock you know”
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had sheet metal and chrome and parts a plenty,
Boxes and boxes I lost count at twenty!
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed and I asked him is this all for myself?
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know nothing more was to be said.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all my shelves, then he turned with a jerk.
And he said to me “no excuses anymore now get to work”
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;
He sprang to his bitchin, souped up sleigh,
A 56 dual quad ‘88’ I’d say
To his team he gave a whistle,
Into the backseat they flew like a Missile.
I heard him exclaim, as he rumbled out of sight,
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"
My engine wasn’t firing, not even a pop.
I tried everything I could think of, as my eye started to tear,
I sure wish Dr.Olds or Joe P was frikkin here.
More parts were nestled all snug in the shed,
Manifolds, carburetors and aluminum heads.
And mamma in her ‘kerchief, and I in my cap,
Had tried to figure out what was wrong with my crap.
When out of the ‘puter there arose such a clatter,
The Boys at Classicolds want to see what’s the matter.
Away to the keyboard I flew like a flash,
Tripped on a shoe and nearly broke my (um Ash).
The boys on the forum said they would give it a go
Check the fuel pump, the spark plugs and the timing below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
A lose wire to the coil, man ....I need a beer.
With a little old screwdriver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it would do the trick.
More rapid than eagles, the advice that came,
And I whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!
"Thanks Brian! Now, Joe! Thanks Richard! And Allan!
Thanks Craig! And Eric! And the dude on Long Islan'!
The problem was found, nothing major at all!
A loose wire to the coil! It’s always something small
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
So up to the house and the fridge I flew
For a well earned Christmas brew or two
I was so merry and happy my problem was fixed
Nothing more than a wire, a gremlin up to tricks.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of little reindeer hoofs.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Into the kitchen St Nicholas came with a bound.
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.
A bundle of parts he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler, just opening his pack.
His eyes-how they twinkled! His dimples how merry!
“Have a look at these parts”, he said “every one of is cherry”!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
He said “there’s really isn’t anything like New Old Stock you know”
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had sheet metal and chrome and parts a plenty,
Boxes and boxes I lost count at twenty!
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed and I asked him is this all for myself?
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know nothing more was to be said.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all my shelves, then he turned with a jerk.
And he said to me “no excuses anymore now get to work”
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;
He sprang to his bitchin, souped up sleigh,
A 56 dual quad ‘88’ I’d say
To his team he gave a whistle,
Into the backseat they flew like a Missile.
I heard him exclaim, as he rumbled out of sight,
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"
December 6th, 2012, 09:42 AM
#2
Registered User
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: South River, New Jersey
Posts: 3,515
I know it is a bit early but helping you get into the Christmas spirit fellas... I did take some liberties with the original text LOL Thank you for all your help all year long....
December 6th, 2012, 10:12 AM
#4
Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Maryland
Posts: 1,665
Eddie, looks like the makings of a new career for you should you decide you wanted to go in a different direction. Maybe childrens books about Oldsmobile muscle cars?!
I did send you a clip the other day, so an early Christmas present for you.
But I'm sure it won't be delivered by Santa himself....that is unless he picked up a second job as a postal carrier in your area. Thanks for your help and encouragement too. 
Brian
I did send you a clip the other day, so an early Christmas present for you.
But I'm sure it won't be delivered by Santa himself....that is unless he picked up a second job as a postal carrier in your area. Thanks for your help and encouragement too. Brian
December 6th, 2012, 10:17 AM
#5
Registered User
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: South River, New Jersey
Posts: 3,515
Brian It arrived quite safely and thank you very much Sir!!! I will show it in my next installment... Glad you liked the CO rendition of a classic....
Octania, Thank you for the kudos......
Octania, Thank you for the kudos......
December 6th, 2012, 06:53 PM
#8
Just an Olds Guy
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Edmonton, AB. And "I am Can 'eh' jun - eh"
Posts: 24,525
Well color me Red
Unbelievable
You rock Eddie!
December 6, 2012 - Detroit Free Press
A somber mood hung over the Motor City today as executives from GM, Chrysler and Ford held an emergency conference in the late afternoon to discuss the ramifications of offshore auto production felt to be aimed at North American Auto Manufacturing. In response to speculation that cars manufactured in December would no longer be classified with horsepower (HP) ratings, Big Three group spokesperson Eddie Hansen responded with rhetoric that had the media and likely many of our readers in stitches. Mr. Hansen stated, "In response to demographic sampling throughout the United States, the plight of the American workers and financial hardships has been duly noted. We feel a responsibility to give back to the workers of our great nation with a sincere acknowledgement and offering this holiday season. To this end, GM, Chrysler and Ford will immediately change production of all model lines starting December 7 to mandate only red paint, white chrome and body accents combined with a racy black/red leather interior trim package in all models being produced. All engines, including flex, bio, electric and hybrid models will now be rated in terms of RP. We feel this reaction will motivate the hearts of buyers and stimulate sales to exceed import numbers for the first time since 1996."
As the captivated audience clammered for more information on this dramatic change, our news correspondent asked what the RP rating was and how it would be calculated. Mr Hansen responded with a large grin and twinkle in his eyes, " I was waiting for one of you to ask that. RP means the cars will be stickered with much higher rated numbers than ever before. Not only that, these cars will be re-designated according to IIHS with new open restraint systems, and *on the fly* accident avoidance systems. Where you would normally be seeing an advertised HP rating of 210, you will now see a rating of approximately 388 RP. You see RP is an acronym for Reindeer Power. Depends on how big they are to determine a convention similar to the work ratings of HP. But one thing we do know - it works for Santa so we're very hopeful it will work for us. Hence the reason we're going with the festive color motif on the December production totals. Merry Christmas and buy American cars! Santa and his 10 Reindeer have have already proven the reliability factor everyone knows and expects."
A somber mood hung over the Motor City today as executives from GM, Chrysler and Ford held an emergency conference in the late afternoon to discuss the ramifications of offshore auto production felt to be aimed at North American Auto Manufacturing. In response to speculation that cars manufactured in December would no longer be classified with horsepower (HP) ratings, Big Three group spokesperson Eddie Hansen responded with rhetoric that had the media and likely many of our readers in stitches. Mr. Hansen stated, "In response to demographic sampling throughout the United States, the plight of the American workers and financial hardships has been duly noted. We feel a responsibility to give back to the workers of our great nation with a sincere acknowledgement and offering this holiday season. To this end, GM, Chrysler and Ford will immediately change production of all model lines starting December 7 to mandate only red paint, white chrome and body accents combined with a racy black/red leather interior trim package in all models being produced. All engines, including flex, bio, electric and hybrid models will now be rated in terms of RP. We feel this reaction will motivate the hearts of buyers and stimulate sales to exceed import numbers for the first time since 1996."
As the captivated audience clammered for more information on this dramatic change, our news correspondent asked what the RP rating was and how it would be calculated. Mr Hansen responded with a large grin and twinkle in his eyes, " I was waiting for one of you to ask that. RP means the cars will be stickered with much higher rated numbers than ever before. Not only that, these cars will be re-designated according to IIHS with new open restraint systems, and *on the fly* accident avoidance systems. Where you would normally be seeing an advertised HP rating of 210, you will now see a rating of approximately 388 RP. You see RP is an acronym for Reindeer Power. Depends on how big they are to determine a convention similar to the work ratings of HP. But one thing we do know - it works for Santa so we're very hopeful it will work for us. Hence the reason we're going with the festive color motif on the December production totals. Merry Christmas and buy American cars! Santa and his 10 Reindeer have have already proven the reliability factor everyone knows and expects."
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