Wife is PISSED
#1
Wife is PISSED
Maybe a bit more than that too.
Having my 455 rebuilt by Bill Trovato. Doing a pump-gas 468 build which will be completed Wednesday after it's time on the Dyno.
Well-------- I got the final bill today, that I, being the non-secretive husband I am, showed her. Haven't seen her this mad at me in a LONG time. The budget kind of went wayyyyy out the window, by a couple grand.
Well guys, how do YOU handle your better halfs in these situations.
Having my 455 rebuilt by Bill Trovato. Doing a pump-gas 468 build which will be completed Wednesday after it's time on the Dyno.
Well-------- I got the final bill today, that I, being the non-secretive husband I am, showed her. Haven't seen her this mad at me in a LONG time. The budget kind of went wayyyyy out the window, by a couple grand.
Well guys, how do YOU handle your better halfs in these situations.
#3
We have a deal: She doesn't tell me when she buys expensive clothing, she just claims she's always had it in the closet, and I don't tell her when I buy car stuff.
If either one of us has a problem with the other one's purchases, the other one has ammunition to prove life is a two way street.
It's called Mutually Assured Destruction.
- Eric
#7
Different strokes for different folks. I have never gone that far overboard and I have been married 47 years. You probably should have been laying some of the groundwork but it is a little late for that now. Best thing is just to say you are sorry and that it just got a little out of hand. Then just let time help heal the wound. A nice dinner and some extra attention will probably help. Good luck.
#8
Congrats on the monster build. Definitely need to post the dyno results here so we can all be envious.
As far as my better half goes, I don't have any good advice. I usually tell her, "well this is my girlfriend and we all know they are expensive to keep." The hole just gets deeper and deeper.....
As far as my better half goes, I don't have any good advice. I usually tell her, "well this is my girlfriend and we all know they are expensive to keep." The hole just gets deeper and deeper.....
#9
Then again, if you turn it around, if my wife were pissed at me for spending money we needed to pay the bills, she would be only too happy for me to spend more of that same money on taking her out to dinner to make her feel better.
Women.
- Eric
#11
Well I've been married for 33 years, she's pretty **** about budgets. So I just keep her posted on progress, no surprises. Cause as we all know (repeat after me), when mama's unhappy, everyone is unhappy.
Good luck with that!
OK, now post the details of your build.
Good luck with that!
OK, now post the details of your build.
#12
Grab a 12 pack and head for the garage, wait till she falls asleep, climb in bed. Once she realizes your snuggled up to her stinking like Beer, Gasoline, and PB Blaster she'll be so pissed that she wont remember why she was pissed before!
#13
My wife spends way more in a year on crap then any car parts I want, I told her before we got married cars are my hobby, and if I want to spend money on my car after all the bills are paid I will. But I also tell her what I am buying, and now I tell her it was "ON SALE". (her famous line)
Well good luck.
Well good luck.
#14
Maybe she has a legitimate gripe? What does she get out of all this money being spent on a toy?
Did she need a new car or the house need work. Do you have a 6 month nest egg set back for a bad economy, could you have invested that money and retired earlier?
Did she need a new car or the house need work. Do you have a 6 month nest egg set back for a bad economy, could you have invested that money and retired earlier?
#16
Not directed at OP but this is a valid point. I was surprised to see quite a few threads to see guys doing this hobby on credit or still dumping money into their hobby cars while unemployed. If you are robbing from Peter to pay Paul you are doing something wrong. I try to keep my expenditures reasonable, plan ahead for larger outlays, and the car takes a back seat to wife, kids, house & every day cars.
#17
I opened up a seperate account just for car money a few years ago. I call it the hot rod account. Any time I sell something, do side work or come along some extra money it goes in there. I typically save that account for the big purchases and use the joint account for the nickel dime stuff.
She drives a 40k car. I drive a 12 year old work beater. She buys nice new clothes, purses and shoes. I buy cheap jeans and a multi pack of pocket T-shirts when she tells me I have to because she's embarassed to be seen with me. We just have different priorites I guess.
She drives a 40k car. I drive a 12 year old work beater. She buys nice new clothes, purses and shoes. I buy cheap jeans and a multi pack of pocket T-shirts when she tells me I have to because she's embarassed to be seen with me. We just have different priorites I guess.
#19
Not directed at OP but this is a valid point. I was surprised to see quite a few threads to see guys doing this hobby on credit or still dumping money into their hobby cars while unemployed. If you are robbing from Peter to pay Paul you are doing something wrong. I try to keep my expenditures reasonable, plan ahead for larger outlays, and the car takes a back seat to wife, kids, house & every day cars.
Well said
#20
Not directed at OP but this is a valid point. I was surprised to see quite a few threads to see guys doing this hobby on credit or still dumping money into their hobby cars while unemployed. If you are robbing from Peter to pay Paul you are doing something wrong. I try to keep my expenditures reasonable, plan ahead for larger outlays, and the car takes a back seat to wife, kids, house & every day cars.
My wife is pretty understanding .I have agreement with her all side money or car parts sold goes to wife number 2 (65 cutlass) we butted heads on this for the first time because. I was to envolved ,so I took her out bought her some shiny stuff and cut back alittle all is good
#21
Of course she's pissed. That's what they do best. I too am married to a budget minded accountant. I just shrug my shoulders and smile real big, then tell her " Honey at least I don't have a girlfriend". This is when I usually get the bird finger as I'm headed out to the garage. I wholeheartedly agree with what has been said above about spending money you don't have on a car though. Don't do it unless you are building a "flip" project to make some $. Your relationship with her is not worth jeopardizing over a toy
#23
Tell her you wanted the hottest engine in town to take the hottest girl in town out on a date. Also that you needed all that power to be able to out run all the guys flocking over her. I am not so sure this will work but maybe a start
#24
Well, my project like everyone elses is over budget... I buy her nice things, and take her out, travel... We normaly take a week trip at anniversary time. I told her this will be our going out west on trips car...so it needs to be comfortable and reliable! ;-)
#25
My wife of 42 years has been relatively understanding of my restoration hobby over the years. When I was working, dropping thousands$$ on one of my restorations wasn't a problem. Now that I'm retired, it's another story. We set a finite budget on the current car for a total restored cost and I'm trying to stay on course. I try to be up front about the costs of things but am also in the middle of a 468 build that is approaching the danger zone. All I do is try to keep her in the loop as to what I'm doing and explain why, and hope the engine doesn't get out of hand. If it does, other parts of the resto are gonna suffer...
Fixed income has it's drawbacks...
Fixed income has it's drawbacks...
#28
X2 on this. My wife also does the budget and she just asks that I let her know when I spend money. That doesn't mean I have an endless budget on it. Mostly I use my overtime money and side work money for the car. Her hobby is going on trips, mine is the car, it tends to equal out.
#29
My "better half" is pretty understanding. She did the engine rebuild with me so knew up front what was going on. There were a couple of kringe moments when we had to add some funds to the build, but then she started doing the engine assembly & she felt better about it.
#32
#33
Just an Olds Guy
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Edmonton, AB. And "I am Can 'eh' jun - eh"
Posts: 24,525
There is absolutely nothing that my wife doesn't know about my car expenses. Everything I plan for and don't plan for is on the table for discussion before the money ever leaves my hands. We made a committment when we got married to be forthright and honest about everything. One thing I've always noted is money can be the root of all evils and it can seriously hamper a relationship if you let it. In my case, if the funding is there without compromising our lifestyle and house expenses - it's a go. If not, it's a 'on hold' item till funds are there.
In all honesty, my wife knows more about handling finances better than I do. And (sorry to all those who aren't so fortunate) she is VERY VERY tolerant of my requests on car stuff. In fact I'm sure she would rather have me in the garage working on a car than off somewhere gallavanting. She can't galavant much anymore with her bad knees. I pretty much married the bestest gal in the world and am proud of it!
Last thing FWIW, my wife asks for almost nothing in return other than an occasional outing, I clean up after myself and look after the family. Life just doesn't get any better.
In all honesty, my wife knows more about handling finances better than I do. And (sorry to all those who aren't so fortunate) she is VERY VERY tolerant of my requests on car stuff. In fact I'm sure she would rather have me in the garage working on a car than off somewhere gallavanting. She can't galavant much anymore with her bad knees. I pretty much married the bestest gal in the world and am proud of it!
Last thing FWIW, my wife asks for almost nothing in return other than an occasional outing, I clean up after myself and look after the family. Life just doesn't get any better.
#36
You beat me to it!
I prefer to know if the who's wife bought him a W-30 For his birthday.
It was her 52rd B'day today and she asked when I was going to trade her in for a new model. I told her when she was 80 and I would get 2 40 year olds.
I prefer to know if the who's wife bought him a W-30 For his birthday.
There is absolutely nothing that my wife doesn't know about my car expenses. Everything I plan for and don't plan for is on the table for discussion before the money ever leaves my hands. We made a committment when we got married to be forthright and honest about everything. One thing I've always noted is money can be the root of all evils and it can seriously hamper a relationship if you let it. In my case, if the funding is there without compromising our lifestyle and house expenses - it's a go. If not, it's a 'on hold' item till funds are there.
This is the only way a marriage will last. We never had separate bank accounts and planned for everything.
In all honesty, my wife knows more about handling finances better than I do. And (sorry to all those who aren't so fortunate) she is VERY VERY tolerant of my requests on car stuff. In fact I'm sure she would rather have me in the garage working on a car than off somewhere gallavanting.
Hence all the toys last winter.
She can't galavant much anymore with her bad knees. I pretty much married the bestest gal in the world and am proud of it!
Her knees can be the next project to restore.
Last thing FWIW, my wife asks for almost nothing in return other than an occasional outing, I clean up after myself and look after the family. Life just doesn't get any better.
My wife is going to be a martyr, she's exactly like yours Allan. She's my best friend in the whole world. Remember, behind every good man there is woman... saying "get out of the way your doing it wrong"
This is the only way a marriage will last. We never had separate bank accounts and planned for everything.
In all honesty, my wife knows more about handling finances better than I do. And (sorry to all those who aren't so fortunate) she is VERY VERY tolerant of my requests on car stuff. In fact I'm sure she would rather have me in the garage working on a car than off somewhere gallavanting.
Hence all the toys last winter.
She can't galavant much anymore with her bad knees. I pretty much married the bestest gal in the world and am proud of it!
Her knees can be the next project to restore.
Last thing FWIW, my wife asks for almost nothing in return other than an occasional outing, I clean up after myself and look after the family. Life just doesn't get any better.
My wife is going to be a martyr, she's exactly like yours Allan. She's my best friend in the whole world. Remember, behind every good man there is woman... saying "get out of the way your doing it wrong"
Last edited by oldcutlass; August 6th, 2013 at 01:30 PM.
#37
Don't get in the situation
Maybe a bit more than that too.
Having my 455 rebuilt by Bill Trovato. Doing a pump-gas 468 build which will be completed Wednesday after it's time on the Dyno.
Well-------- I got the final bill today, that I, being the non-secretive husband I am, showed her. Haven't seen her this mad at me in a LONG time. The budget kind of went wayyyyy out the window, by a couple grand.
Well guys, how do YOU handle your better halfs in these situations.
Having my 455 rebuilt by Bill Trovato. Doing a pump-gas 468 build which will be completed Wednesday after it's time on the Dyno.
Well-------- I got the final bill today, that I, being the non-secretive husband I am, showed her. Haven't seen her this mad at me in a LONG time. The budget kind of went wayyyyy out the window, by a couple grand.
Well guys, how do YOU handle your better halfs in these situations.
Just do what you do when you screw up at work or with a friend. Apologize like hell, promise to never do that again and ask if she has suggestions for how you can do better. Listen to her and implement some of those suggestions. Take her seriously or one day her attorney will take you seriously for everything you have including the hot rod.
Any more cars than your daily driver are a H-O-B-B-Y. Paying the bills, savings and investments always go ahead of a hobby. Hobbies are handled on a cash basis. NO credit purchases and no dipping into savings.
We agreed up front on a monthly allowance for non-essentials for each of us that funds our hobbies. We also agreed nothing for any of the above goes on the credit card. We each have a separate bank account for our respective hobbies. Sometimes I wait months to be able to pay cash for a big ticket item like a rebuild. It has kept the peace (on expenses at least).
#38
Lucky me. She got over that stuff yrs. ago.
I must agree with Alan, Eric
and 47 vert.
I have been married almost 32
yrs. myself. The last 27 she has
told me, "Your going to do what
you want anyway."
I you both have what you need
and are happy, life is good.
I told her I was going to buy that red vert.
She was concered about the $ of course.
But she is enjoying it as much as I do.
On a side note we have also had seperate
checking accts. for the last 27 yrs. as well.
and 47 vert.
I have been married almost 32
yrs. myself. The last 27 she has
told me, "Your going to do what
you want anyway."
I you both have what you need
and are happy, life is good.
I told her I was going to buy that red vert.
She was concered about the $ of course.
But she is enjoying it as much as I do.
On a side note we have also had seperate
checking accts. for the last 27 yrs. as well.
#39
Yeah, I've got to say that I think the shared checking account was a bad idea.
She pushed for it early on, and now I know why.
If we had one account for the household necessities, and each had an account for our discretionary stuff, I think it would be easier for her to understand the concept of "We're out of money."
As it is now, if she checks the balance at a cash machine and sees a few grand, she thinks we're loaded and buys something - she doesn't see that there are checks that haven't cleared yet, automatic debits, etc., and gets testy when I try to explain it again.
- Eric
She pushed for it early on, and now I know why.
If we had one account for the household necessities, and each had an account for our discretionary stuff, I think it would be easier for her to understand the concept of "We're out of money."
As it is now, if she checks the balance at a cash machine and sees a few grand, she thinks we're loaded and buys something - she doesn't see that there are checks that haven't cleared yet, automatic debits, etc., and gets testy when I try to explain it again.
- Eric