couldn't help myself had to post
December 10th, 2010, 02:00 PM
#1
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Rathdrum, Idano
Posts: 9,127
couldn't help myself had to post
" Morning Sex"
She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual
Soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only
The 'T' shirt that she normally slept in.
As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said
Softly, “You’ve got to make love to me this very moment!"
My eyes lit up and I thought, "I am either still dreaming
Or this is going to be my lucky day!"
Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then
Gave it my all; right there on the kitchen table.
Afterwards she said, "Thanks," and returned to the stove,
Her T-shirt still around her neck.
Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked,
"What was that all about?"
She explained, "The egg timer's broken."
She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual
Soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only
The 'T' shirt that she normally slept in.
As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said
Softly, “You’ve got to make love to me this very moment!"
My eyes lit up and I thought, "I am either still dreaming
Or this is going to be my lucky day!"
Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then
Gave it my all; right there on the kitchen table.
Afterwards she said, "Thanks," and returned to the stove,
Her T-shirt still around her neck.
Happy, but a little puzzled, I asked,
"What was that all about?"
She explained, "The egg timer's broken."
December 12th, 2010, 05:06 PM
#7
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Charleston, West Virginia
Posts: 1,190
)
December 14th, 2010, 07:09 AM
#13
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Rathdrum, Idano
Posts: 9,127
I like this one too
A Real Woman
A real woman is a man's best friend. She will Never stand him up and never let him down.She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day.
A real woman is a man's best friend. She will Never stand him up and never let him down.She will reassure him when he feels insecure and comfort him after a bad day.
She will inspire him to do things he never
thought he could do; to live without fear
and forget regret. She will enable him to
express his deepest emotions and give in to his most intimate desires. She will make sure he always feels as though he's the most handsome man in the room and will enable him to be the most confident, sexy,
seductive and invincible...
No wait... Sorry..
I'm thinking of whiskey.
It’s whiskey that does all that shi*.
Never mind.
thought he could do; to live without fear
and forget regret. She will enable him to
express his deepest emotions and give in to his most intimate desires. She will make sure he always feels as though he's the most handsome man in the room and will enable him to be the most confident, sexy,
seductive and invincible...
No wait... Sorry..
I'm thinking of whiskey.
It’s whiskey that does all that shi*.
Never mind.
December 14th, 2010, 03:03 PM
#16
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Rathdrum, Idano
Posts: 9,127
Here we go again
SEX AFTER DEATH
A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the sex after death.
Their biggest fear was that there was no after-life at all.
After a long life together, the husband was the first to die.
True to his word, he made the first contact:
"Judy..........Judy"
"Is that you, George?"
"Yes, I've come back like we agreed."
"That's wonderful! What's it like?"
"Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and then it's off to the golf course.
I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a couple of more times.
Then I have lunch (you'd be proud - lots of greens). Another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon. After supper, it's back to golf course again.
Then it's more sex until late at night. I catch some much-needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again"
"Oh, George...are you in Heaven?"
"No...........I'm a rabbit in Kansas ."
A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the sex after death.
Their biggest fear was that there was no after-life at all.
After a long life together, the husband was the first to die.
True to his word, he made the first contact:
"Judy..........Judy"
"Is that you, George?"
"Yes, I've come back like we agreed."
"That's wonderful! What's it like?"
"Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and then it's off to the golf course.
I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a couple of more times.
Then I have lunch (you'd be proud - lots of greens). Another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon. After supper, it's back to golf course again.
Then it's more sex until late at night. I catch some much-needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again"
"Oh, George...are you in Heaven?"
"No...........I'm a rabbit in Kansas ."
December 14th, 2010, 03:22 PM
#17
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Northeast Ohio
Posts: 4,430
I would of thought you were mistakenly talking about a dog Pat.
They're even better than women, they don't talk back and don't ask for anything but some food and to have they're belly scratched once in awhile.
If I scratch my wife's belly she just falls asleep like an alligator.
My wife would call me if she started cooking a 25 pound turkey and the timer broke.
I could go on with turkey and stuffing jokes but I'm a gentleman so I won't go there.
They're even better than women, they don't talk back and don't ask for anything but some food and to have they're belly scratched once in awhile.
If I scratch my wife's belly she just falls asleep like an alligator.
My wife would call me if she started cooking a 25 pound turkey and the timer broke.
I could go on with turkey and stuffing jokes but I'm a gentleman so I won't go there.
December 14th, 2010, 06:17 PM
#19
Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Sherwood Park, Alberta
Posts: 2,623
I would of thought you were mistakenly talking about a dog Pat. They're even better than women, they don't talk back and don't ask for anything but some food and to have they're belly scratched once in awhile.
If I scratch my wife's belly she just falls asleep like an alligator.
My wife would call me if she started cooking a 25 pound turkey and the timer broke.
I could go on with turkey and stuffing jokes but I'm a gentleman so I won't go there.
If I scratch my wife's belly she just falls asleep like an alligator.
My wife would call me if she started cooking a 25 pound turkey and the timer broke.
I could go on with turkey and stuffing jokes but I'm a gentleman so I won't go there.
December 14th, 2010, 09:57 PM
#20
...should get a life....
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Orangeville, NSW, Australia
Posts: 717
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