"Dressed to kill, your wife surprises you in the middle of the night while you're working on the car. She wants to "do it" on the fender, and you turn her down because you don't want to scratch the paint."

Ah64Pilot what was wrong with doing her in her car ? lol

 

Im gonna agree with Pilot, on or in the car, i dont want lipstick and womenly-stuff smeared all over the interior of my Cutlass.

 

Thanks, Funkwagon, I knew with all the car guys this would be good.

You are an old car guy if........

You ever charged up a condensor and handed it to someone.

You burned out a junkyard car with a hot wrench getting the rear clip for a stock car.

 

He didn't say that he didn't do that .

- Eric

 

Mines not as good as most of these but there is driving my 70 Convertible for the first time in 7 years in 30 degree weather with steel crates for seats! Also the car had no top so it was a bit cold!

 

Parking over a road side ditch to change a U-Joint No Jack
" " " " " " " " " clutch " "
" " " " " " " " " Starter " "

 

You might be an old car guy if...

You ever had a bad battery (or starter), but not enough money to replace it, so you just made sure to always park facing at least slightly downhill, so you could bump-start the car when you needed to be on your way.

- Eric

 

...or if you own (and have used) a brake spoon for adjusting brake shoes for wear

 

You are driving across the Sierra Nevadas in a blizzard with chains on and they rattle the car so much that the alternator bracket loosens and you stop at the top of Donner Summit and get out and fix it. Snow sizzles when it hits the hot engine. BTW, no one stopped to help until I was putting away my tools except for a guy in a van with New York plates. I bet that he was an old car guy too.

 

You built a super charger including the butterflies out of snow and put it on you 67 Cutlass to make it look cool....

You adjusted the carb by the smell of you hand after holding over the exhaust.......

You black taped the radiator hose to make it the last 200 miles home after your Honeymoon......

When you 16 yr old son's 81 Cutlass isn't starting and you diagnose the problem by listening to him crank the motor over his cell phone......

Lastly, you drive with your head out the window while the busted heater core steamed up the interior, even with all the windows down, Because.......nothing good happens after 11:00.

 

If you re-used the fluid you took out of your rear end after replacing a set of broken spider gears cause you couldn't afford both the spider gears and new gear 90.

If you traveled to Lake Tahoe on Dec 30th. with only pure water in your radiator..... then froze your a$$ off on the way home on Jan 2nd, cause the heater core was frozen solid (and you thanked every diety you could think of that your motor was not cracked after pouring 10 gal of hot water on it to get it and the radiator unfrozen)

 

....if when you were young and broke, kept a used battery in the trunk of your car to jump the one under the hood 'cuz you couldn't afford a new one.

 

You are a old car guy if you remember going rabbit hunting at night in a field with two friends riding on the running boards of your 47 chevy pickup, guns a blazing, windshield held open with a stick so the driver could shoot around the steering wheel.. God what a good time we had....Tedd

 

Or if your first indication of a frozen block was black smoke from under the hood 30 seconds after starting the engine, because the water pump was frozen solid and the belts were burning... and the solution was to loosen the belts and let the motor run for five minutes until the water pump was thawed.

And, yes, that first half hour before the heater core finally thawed WAS rather chilly, and I was thanking my lucky stars .

- Eric

 

Drifted your car downhill to start it in gear and it is an automatic trans. Did this once if a ford falcon with gear indicator screwed up and it started in reverse. Scared the pee out of me and the guy behind me.
Used tobacco to plug a rad leak

Cut a piece of hose from a washing machine in an all nite laundrymat to repair a bad one on the car. Pitty the one putting a quarter in that machine.

 

I didn't think you could do that!

What on Earth did it sound like?!?

- Eric

 

how bout the sound of click click click ... down the road when driving on winter days with the steel studded snowtires on dry roads........

 

Chained down the flat 6 in an old Hudson installed seatbelts and rolled it on purpose in the corn field to see how many times we could do it and still keep it running. Never could kill it

Ski bobbed behind the school bus to school in the morning when parents wouldn't let you drive the car to school because of the snow

Spin the re-thread off of tires doing burnouts

 

Do valve jobs with a single valve hand grinding tool

 

Old? Not too long ago heard about some idiot doing the same from a Jeep rollbar, windshield down for the driver.

 

If it wasn't us, our dad, or uncle, it was a brother in
law for sure... Ha ha ha.
This is a great thread.

 

It sounded pretty normal at first. The engine started running and it slowed down some then I hit the gas and the tires started smoking as it stopped and then started going backwards. I then knew it was in reverse and moved the selector and all was well. It wasn't really all that freightening as I was then 16 and thought it was pretty funny. I know the guy behind me wasn't laughing. Thank goodness he had good brakes and no guns. Damn kids.

 

Sneak into the junkyard at nite to replace some worn tires and other small items. Always brought some treats for the junkyard dog. Meat scraps and bones mostly. If we went in the daytime the dog was chained and he still wanted to eat everyone that went there except me and my brother. He would just wag his tail at us. The yard owner would just look and scratch his head. To this day I think he knew.

 

Wait, Automatic Transmission starting down a hill??

IS MY OLDSMOBILE CAPABLE OF THIS? learn something new everyday

 

you might be an old car guy if... you dropped the $#@@$# screw that held the points in the distributor on a Slant 6... And of course you KNOW where it goes!

 

Only if your transmission is old enough to have a rear pump. It's an old car guy thing.

 

Charcoal works best. Much cleaner and doesn't smoke everything up.

I never had the canvas bag, but I did soak a blanket with water and tie it to the front bumper once.

 

Slant pan 55 Olds will do that , been there done that, also worked in my 53 Hudson....Tedd

 

The explanation I got when I was a kid was some transmissions had a second pump on the tailshaft in addition to the normal front pump. So if you got the car rolling it would build enough oil pressure to apply the bands and clutches, allowing a bump start.

 

You might be an old car guy if:

You laugh your *** off at the thought of one of them being HER car! LOL! Never in a million years will they be hers But I'm pretty sure that was a typo, right?

I had just put new black carpet in the car...I don't want anything on it...plus:

You might be an old car guy if:

Dressed to kill, your wife surprises you in the middle of the night while you're working on the car. She wants to "do it" on the fender, and you turn her down because you don't want to scratch the paint AND you would rather finish what you were doing on the CAR!

Agreed The only thing sexier than a picture of a naked chic sprawled across the hood of your car, is a picture without the naked chic and no dents

 

bahahahahaha,

You know, i think they're just jealous because we give so much time to our cars. (And probably spend more money on em' on a regular basis )

 

You might be an old car guy if:

- You pop the hood every morning to wack the starter solenoid cause it's stuck again.

- Push the car down the road as hard as you can, try to jump in and slam it in 1st (manual) cause the startermotor finally gave up

 

This actually happened when I was 17.
My radiator was full of water and we had a sudden cold snap.
Well I took the radiator out and took it in the house and put it in the bath tub to thaw it out, no big deal right?
Until my mom came home from work and saw the dirty radiator in her bath tub.
Oh boy did I get in trouble and could not figure out why.

Years ago I used to change turbo 400's by putting them on my chest, wiggling under the car and bench pressing them in place with the 2 bolts I had in my mouth.

 

You know you an old (car) guy when you say years ago

 

When you preferred bench seats because she could sit right up against you

Wen you could pop the top of a beer bottle where the steering column was fastened to the dash

When steam on the windshield at the drive in movie was a good thing

 

Or 'back in the day"!

 

Speaking of back in the day ...

I had a really epic adventure with a car jumping out of park & rolling out of the parking lot once.

I think I still wear some ever-so slight traces of a couple of scars encountered trying to stop it.

And NO ... it was NOT the car itself that injured me during this fiasco.

Just not sure how to make it fit the subject.

I will say this ...

Not a day goes by ... that I am not thankful that this happened loooonnng before the days of camera phones - YouTube - FailBlog etc etc etc.

 

When the car you and your buddies took to the drive in was the one with the largest trunk.

 

You know you're an old cripple car guy when you say forget the girl, I'm keeping the bench seats in my hot rod because they are more comfortable than buckets! Then you even make a relocation bracket so that the seat moves back an additional 2" - Yep, this guy right here...tons of room

 

Great thread ! So many of the posts are memories for me !

- you pull the head off an I6 with crude hand tools in a sub-zero parking lot, haul it up to your crappy 3rd floor apartment, walk a 10 mi round trip to buy a few new exhaust valves, and do a crude valve job in the middle of your living room floor....which, when reassembled, RUNS!

- you have a piece of baling wire for the throttle that is wrapped around a Matchbox car that you leave on the front seat (cruise control was wrapping it around the shifter )

- you run a piece of speaker wire to the failed pedal brakelight switch and use a little generic push button switch to activate the brakelights (used in conjunction with hand throttle above - throttle wire between ring & middle finger / brakelight between thumb & index)

- you replace a waterpump in a rainy parking lot

- you drive 20 miles with NO brakes by using the JetAway like a boat - Downshift to slow, Reverse + gas to really slow /stop

- you park your $35 Karmann Ghia with a near dead battery by backing up on parking berms so it will start by rolling off them ...failure means push starting...


....and so many more....