Good "CLEAN" jokes!
Thread Starter
Moderator
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,227
From: Edmond, OK
Good "CLEAN" jokes!
Osama Bin Laden dies and goes to heaven. He is standing before the pearly gates and St. Peter says to him:
"Osama, are you ready for paradise?"
"Yes!" he replies
"Then step through this door and behold your reward." comments St. Peter
Osama steps through the door and enters a 20' x 20' square room. In the far wall is another door and standing in the center of the room is George Washington! George Washington comes over and KICKS Osama's BUTT! After taking a beating, and coming within an inch of his life Osama escapes out the far door.
The next room is much like the first; however, standing in the center of the room is Benjamin Franklin. Old Ben comes over and PIMP SMACKS Osama across the face with his cane! Barely escaping Benjamin Franklin, Oama crawls through the door into a new room.
In this room is Thomas Jefferson. Big Tom comes over and puts on a pair of brass knuckles and takes Osama down like a baby seal! Brining him within a nanometer of his life Osama escapes through the door.
Again and again and again! All of the founding fathers BEAT Osama like a little red headed step child, until finally he comes before St. Peter again!
"What type of afterlife is this?" Squeals Osama, "What happened to my 99 virgins?"
With a blank look on his face St. Peter says, "That is 99 Virginians."
"Osama, are you ready for paradise?"
"Yes!" he replies
"Then step through this door and behold your reward." comments St. Peter
Osama steps through the door and enters a 20' x 20' square room. In the far wall is another door and standing in the center of the room is George Washington! George Washington comes over and KICKS Osama's BUTT! After taking a beating, and coming within an inch of his life Osama escapes out the far door.
The next room is much like the first; however, standing in the center of the room is Benjamin Franklin. Old Ben comes over and PIMP SMACKS Osama across the face with his cane! Barely escaping Benjamin Franklin, Oama crawls through the door into a new room.
In this room is Thomas Jefferson. Big Tom comes over and puts on a pair of brass knuckles and takes Osama down like a baby seal! Brining him within a nanometer of his life Osama escapes through the door.
Again and again and again! All of the founding fathers BEAT Osama like a little red headed step child, until finally he comes before St. Peter again!
"What type of afterlife is this?" Squeals Osama, "What happened to my 99 virgins?"
With a blank look on his face St. Peter says, "That is 99 Virginians."
Tom Servo's Stunt Double
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 889
From: San Antonio, Texas
A priest, a rabbi and a moose walk into a bar. You think one of them would have seen it!
No...wait...
Three newlywed couples are having dinner together.
First husband looks at his wife and says, "Can you pass the sugar...Sugar?" The wives all giggle at his romantic humor.
Second husband (not wanting to be outdone) looks at his wife and says, "Can you pass the honey...Honey?" Again, the wives giggle and blush over the pun.
After thinking a bit, the third husband looks at his wife and says, "Can you pass the tea...bag?"
C.J.
No...wait...
Three newlywed couples are having dinner together.
First husband looks at his wife and says, "Can you pass the sugar...Sugar?" The wives all giggle at his romantic humor.
Second husband (not wanting to be outdone) looks at his wife and says, "Can you pass the honey...Honey?" Again, the wives giggle and blush over the pun.
After thinking a bit, the third husband looks at his wife and says, "Can you pass the tea...bag?"
C.J.
Thread Starter
Moderator
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,227
From: Edmond, OK
A Polok goes to the beach on the weekend to pick up some women. The entire day the hotties are avoiding him and flocking to an American dude. At the end of the day the Polok approaches the American and asks,
"How do you pick up all of the women? What is your secret?"
The American replies with a smile on his face. "Since you are a nice guy I will tell you. All you have to do is get a potato and put it in your pants. Then, the women will come flocking."
Astounded the Polok says, "Wow, do you mind if I try that tomorrow?"
"No problem!" says the American.
The next day the Polok comes to the beach with a potato in his drawers and strikes poses for the ladies. The entire day the women see him, point and laugh and run over to the American guy. At the end of the day the Polok goes up to the American and asks,
"What happened? I got a potato and put it in my pants. The women just laughed at me and flocked to you."
The American gives the Polok a dumb look and says, "Your supposed to put the potato in the front."
"How do you pick up all of the women? What is your secret?"
The American replies with a smile on his face. "Since you are a nice guy I will tell you. All you have to do is get a potato and put it in your pants. Then, the women will come flocking."
Astounded the Polok says, "Wow, do you mind if I try that tomorrow?"
"No problem!" says the American.
The next day the Polok comes to the beach with a potato in his drawers and strikes poses for the ladies. The entire day the women see him, point and laugh and run over to the American guy. At the end of the day the Polok goes up to the American and asks,
"What happened? I got a potato and put it in my pants. The women just laughed at me and flocked to you."
The American gives the Polok a dumb look and says, "Your supposed to put the potato in the front."
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