Italian Confession
October 11th, 2009, 04:54 PM
#1
Registered User
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Sherwood Park, Alberta
Posts: 2,623
Italian Confession
Hope this doesn't fall into the non-religious talk 
'Bless me Father, for I have sinned.
I have been with a loose girl'.
The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano ?'
'Yes, Father, it is.'
'And who was the girl you were with?'
'I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation'.
"Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later
so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?'
'I cannot say.'
'Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?'
'I'll never tell.'
'Was it Nina Capelli?'
'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.'
'Was it Cathy Piriano?'
'My lips are sealed.'
'Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?'
'Please, Father, I cannot tell you.'
The priest sighs in frustration.
'You're very tight lipped, and I admire that..
But you've sinned and have to atone.
You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months.
Now you go and behave yourself.'
Joey walks back to his pew,
and his friend Franco slides over and whispers,
'What'd you get?'
'Four months vacation and five good leads.'
'Bless me Father, for I have sinned.
I have been with a loose girl'.
The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano ?'
'Yes, Father, it is.'
'And who was the girl you were with?'
'I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation'.
"Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later
so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?'
'I cannot say.'
'Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?'
'I'll never tell.'
'Was it Nina Capelli?'
'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.'
'Was it Cathy Piriano?'
'My lips are sealed.'
'Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?'
'Please, Father, I cannot tell you.'
The priest sighs in frustration.
'You're very tight lipped, and I admire that..
But you've sinned and have to atone.
You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months.
Now you go and behave yourself.'
Joey walks back to his pew,
and his friend Franco slides over and whispers,
'What'd you get?'
'Four months vacation and five good leads.'
October 11th, 2009, 05:35 PM
#3
Registered User
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Sherwood Park, Alberta
Posts: 2,623
October 11th, 2009, 05:56 PM
#4
Registered
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Northeast Ohio
Posts: 4,430
I like Johnny Carson's high school girlfriend's name, Gina Statutori.
Then there was a girl that loved drive-in movies and had a reputation at my high school, Anita Backsieta.
I should behave myself, my mom was Italian.
Guess I'm part Italian too then?
Hey!
Then there was a girl that loved drive-in movies and had a reputation at my high school, Anita Backsieta.
I should behave myself, my mom was Italian.
Guess I'm part Italian too then?
Hey!
October 11th, 2009, 06:49 PM
#5
Oldsdruid
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Southside Vajenya
Posts: 10,284
About every Italian I've ever met loved a good Italian joke. Couple times I wasn't sure whether to laugh, and the reaction was "Aaay, you don't think our joke is funny? Wassamatta for youse?" So when the Italians started to howl laughing, that was my cue to join in.
And everybody knows Italians also love their Oldsmobiles!
And everybody knows Italians also love their Oldsmobiles!
October 11th, 2009, 08:35 PM
#7
Registered User
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Sherwood Park, Alberta
Posts: 2,623
About every Italian I've ever met loved a good Italian joke. Couple times I wasn't sure whether to laugh, and the reaction was "Aaay, you don't think our joke is funny? Wassamatta for youse?" So when the Italians started to howl laughing, that was my cue to join in.
And everybody knows Italians also love their Oldsmobiles!
And everybody knows Italians also love their Oldsmobiles!
October 12th, 2009, 10:23 AM
#9
Registered
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Northeast Ohio
Posts: 4,430
Oldsamobiles?
This is relevant being Columbus Day, Aaaaay Goomba!
My many relatives in Italy like-a automobile, how you say?...oh yes... she Scuderia Ferrari.
Everybody knows Italian guys love black Grand Prixs or Monte Carlos with a plastic fake red pepper hanging from the rear view mirror.
Cadillacs for the ladies, at work the concrete guys wifes show up all dolled up fresh from the beauty parlor on Fridays to grab their husband's paychecks in some sort of perfectly detailed brand new Caddy something.
If we quit early and they find them in the bar spending that check watch out.
The Redneck wifes will beat those poor skinny guys to a pulp right there in the bar on the spot if they catch them drinking their check, and do it one handed because they're holding a screaming baby in the other arm.
Then the guys will start crying and thank Mama for setting them straight and apologize all the way out the door, be back next week and do it all over again.
This is relevant being Columbus Day, Aaaaay Goomba!
My many relatives in Italy like-a automobile, how you say?...oh yes... she Scuderia Ferrari.
Everybody knows Italian guys love black Grand Prixs or Monte Carlos with a plastic fake red pepper hanging from the rear view mirror.
Cadillacs for the ladies, at work the concrete guys wifes show up all dolled up fresh from the beauty parlor on Fridays to grab their husband's paychecks in some sort of perfectly detailed brand new Caddy something.
If we quit early and they find them in the bar spending that check watch out.
The Redneck wifes will beat those poor skinny guys to a pulp right there in the bar on the spot if they catch them drinking their check, and do it one handed because they're holding a screaming baby in the other arm.
Then the guys will start crying and thank Mama for setting them straight and apologize all the way out the door, be back next week and do it all over again.
Last edited by Bluevista; October 12th, 2009 at 10:29 AM.
October 12th, 2009, 11:14 AM
#11
Registered User
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Sherwood Park, Alberta
Posts: 2,623
October 13th, 2009, 08:49 PM
#13
Registered User
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Sherwood Park, Alberta
Posts: 2,623
October 13th, 2009, 09:44 PM
#14
...should get a life....
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Orangeville, NSW, Australia
Posts: 717
Still the biggest ever selling song Down Under..... which is a worry. I was sure our taste in music was better than that!
October 13th, 2009, 11:27 PM
#15
Registered User
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 338
Ralph
October 14th, 2009, 08:14 AM
#16
Registered User
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Chi-town
Posts: 4,511
being Italian is the one reason I can not drive a camaro, I like the cars but growing up in Chicago if you were Italian you had an Chevy IROC with a horn hanging from the rear view mirror.
By the way I have heard IROC stands for
Italian Racing On Cocaine
Italian Retard Owns a Camaro
and many versions there of
By the way I have heard IROC stands for
Italian Racing On Cocaine
Italian Retard Owns a Camaro
and many versions there of
October 14th, 2009, 08:36 AM
#17
Just an Olds Guy
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Edmonton, AB. And "I am Can 'eh' jun - eh"
Posts: 24,525
What's a mattta you? In Italia we no needa rear view mirror. What's a behind you isa no matter
(Think back to: The Great Race - movie)
October 15th, 2009, 06:33 PM
#18
Registered User
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Sherwood Park, Alberta
Posts: 2,623
October 16th, 2009, 12:10 AM
#19
...should get a life....
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Orangeville, NSW, Australia
Posts: 717
who are the worst drivers??
How goes it over there?
October 16th, 2009, 11:44 AM
#20
Captain of my ship
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Annapolis Valley , Nova Scotia
Posts: 1,880
Around here it's the farmers who think they are still in their tractor or the old , old , old folks who drive the biggest cars they can find. little old ladies who have to look under the steering wheel
or the old , old , old folks who drive the biggest cars they can find. little old ladies who have to look under the steering wheel
October 16th, 2009, 11:50 AM
#21
Registered User
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Columbus, OH
Posts: 1,076
In Sydney we have a couple of Italian suburbs, one being "Fiva Docka" or Five Dock to the rest of us. Epping is a big Korean area, Cabramatta is Vietnamese, Auburn is Turkish, Fairfield is Assyrian, Campbelltown is Pacific Islander, Bankstown is Lebanese, Hurstville is Chinese, Plumpton is Indian etc etc. I drive through these areas a lot and I would have to say, while each has it's idiosyncracies, Epping is the worst. Koreans have no idea how to drive.
How goes it over there?
How goes it over there?
Sound like Los Angeles
October 16th, 2009, 12:17 PM
#22
Just an Olds Guy
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Edmonton, AB. And "I am Can 'eh' jun - eh"
Posts: 24,525
In Sydney we have a couple of Italian suburbs, one being "Fiva Docka" or Five Dock to the rest of us. Epping is a big Korean area, Cabramatta is Vietnamese, Auburn is Turkish, Fairfield is Assyrian, Campbelltown is Pacific Islander, Bankstown is Lebanese, Hurstville is Chinese, Plumpton is Indian etc etc. I drive through these areas a lot and I would have to say, while each has it's idiosyncracies, Epping is the worst. Koreans have no idea how to drive.
How goes it over there?
How goes it over there?
Around here, it's more like you take your life in your hands if you want to drive. Speed limits and rules of the road are gradually being phased out by lack of law enforcement. Signal lights being replaced by the one finger salute, brakes being replaced by louder horns, bumpers being replaced because theyre used a lot.......
Thread
Thread Starter
Forum
Replies
Last Post
