An elderly Frenchman who lived on the outskirts of Paris, went to
the local church for confession.

When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, the man said:
Bless Me, Father for I have sinned. During World War II, a beautiful Jewish
woman from our neighborhood knocked urgently on my door and asked me to hide
her from the *****.

So I hid her in my attic."
The priest replied: "That was a wonderful thing you did, and you have no
need to confess that."

"There is more to tell, Father. She started to repay me with sexual favors
This happened several times a week, and sometimes twice on Sundays."
The priest said, "That was a long time ago and by doing what you did, you
placed the two of you in great danger.
But two people under those circumstances can easily succumb to the weakness
of the flesh. However, if you are truly sorry for your actions, you are indeed forgiven."

"Thank you, Father. That's a great load off my mind. I do have one more question. "And what is that?" asked the priest.








"Should I tell her the war is over?''

 

That possibly is much funnier to us Catholics. It is a good one. Thanks f/ letting me know that there are more Catholics than just I out here on the site.

 

.....pretty funny to us ex-communicated Mormons too
Onya Ken. I'm sure there's a special place in the hereafter reserved for people who tell jokes like that. I'll meet you down there.

 

Did I tell you that my grandmother was from Sparta (and granddad was from Athens?) "Spartans! Eat a hearty breakfast men, for tonight we dine in Hell!" Wonder if Jamesbo will be there to cook it up.

 

 

There will be one large contingent of CO people there, we can hang out at the bar and tell jokes, lie about our Olds and have a general good time.

 

Yep we'll all be saying "Here come's Pat, he drives that car like he's Hell on wheels."

 

It's "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned" not "Bless me"...I know from experience.
My mom always wanted me to be a priest, but I don't golf and I can't stand hard liquor.
Jamesbo is priest material.

 

Pope Jamesbo 1st. Could be a turning point for the Catholic Religion
I told Ken's joke at a work meeting today after making sure there were no Jewish people there. Got a lot of laughs. It's one I'll remember and I'm hopeless at remembering jokes.

 

I would have been a priest but I like my Sunday's off (and I'm crazy about ties). I asked my father when I was young why I was baptized Catholic and not Greek Orthodox. He didn't even look up from his paper but said " The Greeks wanted 60 bucks, the Catholics didn't want anything."

 

There were a group of young women who were about to take their final vows to become nuns. Before this commitment the mother superior summoned them to church. There they were told to form a line in front of a large vat of holy water. The mother superior then asked the first one in line if she ever touched the “male member”. The girl replied that she did not, so with this she was dismissed and was told that she was pure and holy.

The second in line was asked the same question to which the women replied, “ I did hold a male member in my hand once.” The mother superior instructed her to wash her hands in the vat of holy water and she would be purified. The third girl was asked the same question and replied, “ a man’s member was placed between my breasts”. To this the head nun instructed her to place her breasts within the holy water and she would be purified….

Well about this time there was a commotion back further in the line. Mother superior went back and asked what all fuss was about. Novice Jane said that Mary was trying to get ahead of her in line. Mary was asked why she wanted to get ahead of Jane. She replied that “ she did not want to rinse her mouth with the holy water after Jane washer her *** in it!

 

Sorry Blue,

My bride the only "Mackerel snapper" in the family, I'm a recovering Presbyterian. I did however used to love those REAL fish sticks they served at grammar school on Fridays.

I can't find any real fish sticks at the store to save my life.

Hey wait a minute. I think religion is off limits.

I retract this post.