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Stuff to make you groan..

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Old May 25, 2011 | 06:59 PM
  #1  
Allan R's Avatar
Thread Starter
Just an Olds Guy
 
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 24,528
From: Edmonton, AB. And "I am Can 'eh' jun - eh"
Stuff to make you groan..

My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30 am this morning, can you believe that.....2:30a.m.! Luckily for him I was still up playing myBagpipes.

Man calls 911 and says "I think my wife is dead" The operator says howdo you know? He says "The sex is the same but the ironing is buildingup!"

I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest ***** she had ever laid her hands on. I said "You're pulling my leg."

I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice!! At least I
presume she was poor - she only had $1.20 in her purse.

My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my
girlfriend yet.

A wife says to her husband you're always pushing me around and talking
behind my back. He says what do you expect? You're in a wheel chair.

I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You're obviously not
listening. "

The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So I have been to the thrift shop to get all her clothes back.
Old May 25, 2011 | 08:08 PM
  #2  
mmurphy77's Avatar
Registered User
 
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 1,079
From: Raleigh, NC
Thanks Allan, those are great!!
Old May 25, 2011 | 09:44 PM
  #3  
Redog's Avatar
Registered User
 
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 3,145
From: Far Northeast Philadelphia, PA
:d
Old May 26, 2011 | 01:07 AM
  #4  
rustyroger's Avatar
'87 Delta 88 Royale
 
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,514
From: Margate, England
I was having sex with my woman last night, I said to her; "you've got no **** and a tight box".
She replied; "You're always criticising, why don't you get off my back?."
Old May 26, 2011 | 06:31 AM
  #5  
GTI_Guru's Avatar
Certifiable car addict...
 
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 392
From: SW Ohio
Originally Posted by rustyroger
I was having sex with my woman last night, I said to her; "you've got no **** and a tight box".
She replied; "You're always criticising, why don't you get off my back?."
*rimshot* ?
Old May 26, 2011 | 07:29 AM
  #6  
cutlassgal's Avatar
Cutlass Lover
 
Joined: Jul 2009
Posts: 6,587
From: Twinsburg, Ohio
LOL! That's great, Allan R!
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