PARAPROSDOKIAN - for dummies
Thread Starter
Just an Olds Guy
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 24,528
From: Edmonton, AB. And "I am Can 'eh' jun - eh"
PARAPROSDOKIAN - for dummies
Sounds like something in Russian doesn't it? Especially when you roll the second r on your tongue. But it's not. A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect. For this reason, it is extremely popular among comedians and satirists. I hope you enjoy these! My faves are bolded...
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.
Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’ and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
I didn’t say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars but check when you say the paint is wet?
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.
I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.
You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.
Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.
Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’ and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
I didn’t say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars but check when you say the paint is wet?
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.
I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.
You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.
Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?
Registered User
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 11,798
From: Plano, TX
I like these expressions... Here are a few more...
Sure, money talks. Mine only says "goodbye" though...
Parents of teenagers can understand why some animal parents eat their young.
If you cannot see the bright side of life, try polishing the dull side...
Yawn - An honest, openly-expressed opinion.
Never ask a barber if you need a haircut.
Always drink upstream from the heard.
If you want to look young, rent smaller kids.
Dates in calendar are closer than they appear.
Sure, money talks. Mine only says "goodbye" though...
Parents of teenagers can understand why some animal parents eat their young.
If you cannot see the bright side of life, try polishing the dull side...
Yawn - An honest, openly-expressed opinion.
Never ask a barber if you need a haircut.
Always drink upstream from the heard.
If you want to look young, rent smaller kids.
Dates in calendar are closer than they appear.
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Jul 27, 2013 08:00 PM
