rocketraider

😳 First time I ever heard a fart sound like a chainsaw! "More room out than there is in!" "He who smelt it, dealt it!" One of my lifelong friends says "ain't nothin' funnier than a fart" just before he rips one out. Just proves there's still a teenage boy inside of every old man.

"Dancin' like a one-legged man in an ***-kicking contest"

"Looking like warmed-over hell"

Me Grandpa Buckner would often say a summer day was "hot as hell with the blowers on". And we'd spend all day in the tobacco fields in that kind of heat.🥵

oldcutlass

Busier than a 2 peckered billy goat.

solly

“Colder than a well diggers *** “ “ colder than a witches tit in a brass bra “

tru-blue 442

$hit or get off the pot!

solly

If brains were Dynamite he wouldnt have enough to blow his nose

Jamesbo

Couldn't pour pi$$ out of a boot if the directions were on the heel

slantflat

We always said Colder than a witch's tit in February.

ignachuck

How about: He's a tall drink of water.

Koda

That works for a woman saying it, Frank.

solly

Close to the vest