You've GOT to love this one
May 26th, 2017, 05:40 PM
#1
Registered User
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Great Lake State: SE MI
Posts: 769
May 26th, 2017, 05:56 PM
#2
same but different
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Central Missouri
Posts: 2,861
That is a great wright up to describe the car. I"ve copied it...to enjoy. Car is pretty decent.
1.) This car only has 68,300 miles on it.
2.) Belongs to my 125yrs old mother.
3.) Interior is burgundy leather; the leather looks like new.
4.) Engine is a 3800 V6 (good on gas) 4-speed automatic with overdrive.
5.) My mother has only driven the car to her Pentecostal church (where she handles rattle snakes in church) and Kroger's supermarket where she buys $3 bottles of wine).
6.) Mercifully, she stopped driving the car in 2007 when she nearly set a Guinness Book World Record for causing dozens of accidents before she even reached the first stop sign down her street.
7.) As years went by, her height shrank further and further until she could no longer see over the steering wheel, and she was forced to sit on two thick yellow pages books and her bible.
8.) The car has only been garage kept and looks in amazing condition for a 1991...which, when you think about it, is a testament to the benefits of keeping your vehicle in a garage year around.
9.) My mother never drove the car in the snow. She refused to drive in the snow simply, because--like all crazy people who watch too much TV--she thought snow was a result of Aliens dumping poisonous material onto the Human Race (sort of like Chemtrails), and apparently the snow was invented...and I'm not making this up..."To make Americans dumber than politicians!"
So, she wasn't so crazy after all. The only thing that seemed to benefit from some of her crazy beliefs was that her car seldom saw rain or snow.
10.) This car has no leaks, which, again, if you think about it, is remarkable for a car that is what...26-years old!
11.) Recently, $1,250.00 worth of regular maintenance was done to it (I have the receipt). This included the changing of spark plugs, Wire kits, Coil kits, and Ignition Module.
12.) Vin #: 1G3HY54C3M1807464
Everything works on this car except for these few things:
1.) The electric window motors barely work, if at all, and therefore, the windows should not be put down unless you like rain coming in sideways through the window and washing the side of your face.
2.) The felt covering for the inside roof has come loose over the years and started to sag in the middle. Though, through an act of pure hillbilly genius, I went out and bought a box of colored thumb-tacs and pinned the felt covering back to the roof. Voila, Hillbilly fix-it!
3.) Oh yeah, I almost forgot, the car has the original wire rims--with the exception of the left front rim coming off and running ahead of the car at 65mph and launching itself in a beautiful 60-degree trajectory onto State Route 35 just like a flying saucer. It was beautiful and surreal to witness.
Since 2010, the car has had less than 1000 miles put on it. This is because that was the year that my mother became a vampire and refused to sleep at night, and hence, refused to drive her car after nearly causing 1000 accidents in the span of one ten minutes.
I do not live in the country, and therefore, the car is only being driven once a year when I come into town to check on whether or not my mother has been abducted by aliens yet.
I am asking $3600 dollars. Why? Because the car looks "almost" new (has the original burgundy leather interior which still looks amazing) drives like new, and with the exception of the one wire rim missing, appears in "almost" showroom condition. The tires are new--bought back in 2007 when Firestone was still in business. And the oil & oil filter was recently changed--less than 200-miles ago (I have the receipt).
This would make a fantastic car for an old person who just wants something dependable to drive back and forth to Church; or a young person who is in college and doesn't want to worry about someone stealing their car; or a middle class couple looking for a second hand car that won't take money away from their mortgage payment.
PS. The car originally belonged to my mother's 150yrs old uncle, Boyce Parsons, who put less than 5000 miles on it before kicking the bucket as a result of...yep, you guessed it...handling rattle snakes in church!
1.) This car only has 68,300 miles on it.
2.) Belongs to my 125yrs old mother.
3.) Interior is burgundy leather; the leather looks like new.
4.) Engine is a 3800 V6 (good on gas) 4-speed automatic with overdrive.
5.) My mother has only driven the car to her Pentecostal church (where she handles rattle snakes in church) and Kroger's supermarket where she buys $3 bottles of wine).
6.) Mercifully, she stopped driving the car in 2007 when she nearly set a Guinness Book World Record for causing dozens of accidents before she even reached the first stop sign down her street.
7.) As years went by, her height shrank further and further until she could no longer see over the steering wheel, and she was forced to sit on two thick yellow pages books and her bible.
8.) The car has only been garage kept and looks in amazing condition for a 1991...which, when you think about it, is a testament to the benefits of keeping your vehicle in a garage year around.
9.) My mother never drove the car in the snow. She refused to drive in the snow simply, because--like all crazy people who watch too much TV--she thought snow was a result of Aliens dumping poisonous material onto the Human Race (sort of like Chemtrails), and apparently the snow was invented...and I'm not making this up..."To make Americans dumber than politicians!"
So, she wasn't so crazy after all. The only thing that seemed to benefit from some of her crazy beliefs was that her car seldom saw rain or snow.
10.) This car has no leaks, which, again, if you think about it, is remarkable for a car that is what...26-years old!
11.) Recently, $1,250.00 worth of regular maintenance was done to it (I have the receipt). This included the changing of spark plugs, Wire kits, Coil kits, and Ignition Module.
12.) Vin #: 1G3HY54C3M1807464
Everything works on this car except for these few things:
1.) The electric window motors barely work, if at all, and therefore, the windows should not be put down unless you like rain coming in sideways through the window and washing the side of your face.
2.) The felt covering for the inside roof has come loose over the years and started to sag in the middle. Though, through an act of pure hillbilly genius, I went out and bought a box of colored thumb-tacs and pinned the felt covering back to the roof. Voila, Hillbilly fix-it!
3.) Oh yeah, I almost forgot, the car has the original wire rims--with the exception of the left front rim coming off and running ahead of the car at 65mph and launching itself in a beautiful 60-degree trajectory onto State Route 35 just like a flying saucer. It was beautiful and surreal to witness.
Since 2010, the car has had less than 1000 miles put on it. This is because that was the year that my mother became a vampire and refused to sleep at night, and hence, refused to drive her car after nearly causing 1000 accidents in the span of one ten minutes.
I do not live in the country, and therefore, the car is only being driven once a year when I come into town to check on whether or not my mother has been abducted by aliens yet.
I am asking $3600 dollars. Why? Because the car looks "almost" new (has the original burgundy leather interior which still looks amazing) drives like new, and with the exception of the one wire rim missing, appears in "almost" showroom condition. The tires are new--bought back in 2007 when Firestone was still in business. And the oil & oil filter was recently changed--less than 200-miles ago (I have the receipt).
This would make a fantastic car for an old person who just wants something dependable to drive back and forth to Church; or a young person who is in college and doesn't want to worry about someone stealing their car; or a middle class couple looking for a second hand car that won't take money away from their mortgage payment.
PS. The car originally belonged to my mother's 150yrs old uncle, Boyce Parsons, who put less than 5000 miles on it before kicking the bucket as a result of...yep, you guessed it...handling rattle snakes in church!
May 26th, 2017, 06:29 PM
#6
Olds Fever
Join Date: May 2011
Location: New York (Upstate)
Posts: 4,442
) will draw attention for perspective buyers to at least look at it and possibly get a great deal...
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