csstrux

Just a little something to put a smile on your face....
Are you a Democrat, a Republican, or a
Redneck?

Here is a little test that will help you
decide.

The answer can be found by posing the
following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you.

You are carrying a Kimber 1911 cal. 45 ACP, and you are an expert shot.

You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
What do you do?

THINK CAREFULLY AND
THEN SCROLL DOWN:

Democrat's
Answer :

Well, that's not enough information to answer the question!
Does the man look poor or oppressed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about this situation?
Does the pistol have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me?
Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have paint and weed day and make thisa happier, healthier street that would
discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for few days and tryto come to a consensus.

Republican's
Answer:


BANG!



Redneck's Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG !
Click..... (Sounds of reloading)
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Click
Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy!
Were those the Winchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?! '
Son: 'Can I shoot the next one?!'
Wife: 'You ain't taking that to the Taxidermist.




A friend emailed this. My wife and I were rolling on the floor. I thought I'd share it. P.S. I'm a redneck by the way

Redog

Don't really know if I'm a redneck, because I wouldn't stop shooting after unloading the 2nd clip and my wife wouldn't ask that question

I'm a Dem, BTW, there's a reason the Rep's are called "reds"

Jokers69

Bang Bang Bang Bang.. stop for pulled pork sandwich, (they hate pork, hating bbq is just wrong) Bang Bang Bang.. pop top on beer can (domestic brew of course) Bang Bang Bang..

csstrux

......

BILL DEMMER

one shot, between the eyes, with a hollow point.

and i'm a free-thinker.


bill

Bluevista

He would be with his 40 virgins before he had a chance to raise the knife, right at the first scream would be about it. He already gave me all day to do what I want. Why take chances? he isn't out there carving a turkey.

Allan

Alb

Double tap to the head but, If I have to put 2 in the mag. I might as well make it 15.
Alb

csstrux

Looks like red neck village to me

csstrux

Dem or not I say your a red neck you commie freak

Redog

Yeah and his 40 virgins are all gay guys

(Saw that one on Family Guy)

Redog

I hate terrorist

mugzilla

One shot to the either knee ...

He needs to be in a lot of pain for a long time ...

csstrux

I like your thinkin mggzie May be get one of those virgins with a three piece set. You know its the rapies fault over theere so he would never get to paradise

citcapp

Double barrel between the legs, let him bleed out. No *****, no babes in heven

68conv455

One between the eyes. Then I'd tell the cops I was just trying to shoot a warning shot into the air to scare him off.

csstrux

Yeah!!!

csstrux

oops

Lady72nRob71

This is the one I chose, but I only own a 12 gauge. - It would definetely sound a bit different.

Thanks for the laugh...

2blu442

Chad
I figured anybody who replied to this thread by now won't be offended by political undertones. I just heard about a youtube clip that explains how we got into the mortgage mess we're in. If you start watching it and become offended please try to watch it through to the end. Yes, if your an extreme left democrate it says some stuff you won't like. But it tells you how to fact check what's shown, and encourages you to consider these facts before voting this coming election. John

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NU6fuFrdCJY

csstrux

John
PM sent

agtw31

that youtube video has an agenda,that means it's facts are slanted

realtors,real estate appraisers,and mortgage brokers are responsible for the mess we are in.

they are parasites on society

mugzilla

Terrorist goes to Heaven ...

First hint of trouble , it's St. Peter ...

"Let's see,... killed 10 innocent people , ... you my boy are going to hell ! " ...

He's whining like a baby ... " Where are my virgins ..?"

The devil tells him " Sure you get virgins ..."

Virgin Men ...

mugzilla

During the first RE blowup They would give a stooge 2 million and he would pay that for a third share on a "Water Ranch"
. Then they would appraise for 6 million which they would borrow against...

I'm telling the Federal Appraiser that I had just appraised that parcel for 2 million as it was on a right of way. He said that it was worth 6 since a third share was bought for 2 mill ...


It's nice when you can make your own rules ...

The Stickman

According to John Murtha if you live in his side of Pa you are both a racist and a redneck. Not sure of which party affliation applies. Although he is a Deomcrat and has been voted in many times so I guess he means mainly those that have kept him in office.

Jamesbo

FYI

It's "Realtor" [With a cap "R" ] meaning he/she is a member of the National Association of Realtors. It doesn't mean Real-estate agent or Real-estate Broker. But it a common mistake with many.

IMHO They [meaning Real-estate Brokers/agents, appraisers and mortgage brokers ] had very little to do with the mess we're in. I would look very hard at Congress for the blame.

I would also note Congress has done absolutely nothing to prevent it from happening again.

cutlassgal

Congress - what a joke. They're taken care of the rest of their lives; income, retirement, benefits... Our tax dollars at work!! My 2 cents for what it's worth

wolfman98

Well to answer the question originally posed I would shoot him in the shoulder with the knife , if he is still coming at me I would shoot him in the hip on the same side if he still was not down I would shoot out the other leg though with a .45 caliber I doubt that. Being an expert shot I could fire off these shots without worry. I would then call 911 for the police and an ambulance , tell my wife to move the children away from the scene then check on the attacker ( kicking away the knife if I have to ) and administer any help needed.
Any person would automatically shoot to protect his family unless it was an arranged hit to kill his wife then he kills the attacker ,who was not privy to this part of the plan, and now he is without the nagging wife who had threatened to leave him and take the kids.

rocketraider

Redneck. By definition. A small vial of pig's blood carried on your person will help. Pig crap is even better, but smells.

There's a Realtor here that if she cuts me off in traffic again while she's got that damn cellphone in her ear, there'll be one less Realtor... if her continued recklessness and carelessness causes me bodily injury, I'll have all the profits off her million dollar deals... her and her picture in the Million Dollar Club every month in the local paper's real estate insert... phooey. She might be a good saleswoman, but she ain't hittin' on schit as a driver.

Jamesbo

I wouldn't tangle with her. Most of the women real-estate agents I've met are mean as a gut shot Grizzly.

cutlassgal

LOLl! As Larry the Cable Guy would say... Thats funny right there and I don't care who you are!!! What a great e-mail!!

wolfman98

[quote=rocketraider;113361]Redneck. By definition. A small vial of pig's blood carried on your person will help. Pig crap is even better, but smells.

Ok since I am not a redneck I guess I need an explanation on what good the pigs blood would be for

rocketraider

They consider swine unclean.

Underestimate me, do ya?

The Stickman

I heard the definition was a person that worked for a living like a field hand that had a "red Neck", which makes it less of a slur like most people think. Much like the Italian slur "Wop" which is actually a term given at Elis island when a boat load of Italians came in all "With Out Papers"

Olds64

Interesting situation.

wolfman98

True farmers are typical rednecks cause they work outdoors with their shirts on and since your neck is more suseptible to sunburn you were called redneck. I work outdoors a lot but have tough scandinavian skin and don't get that redneck appearence. I do work with manure a lot but mostly horse manure which does not stink as much , though some snooty people would still consider me swine.

Jamesbo

When someone calls me a redneck. I just tell them to "Kiss my Cracker A$$"

By the by, Has anyone but me ever noticed. Most very Liberal people are always bigoted againist Rednecks. They hate them with a pashion.

wolfman98

There seems to be an evolution of the meaning about what a redneck is. I always considered that we have a lot of rednecks around here but I consider them people like farmers who work outdoors or work the land and are not the highly educated type. Somewhere along the line Good ole boy and redneck seemed to have become entwined so that rednecks seem to come mostly from the American southeast. Comediens have jumped on the bandwagon of late and turned it into a successful routine or tv show. So of course people's "perception" has been influenced and turned a redneck into what it is today. Thus you get redneck jokes. Up here we did the same with "newfies" and the perception about them was actually perpetuated by classic newfie jokebooks which were written in Newfoundland joking about themselves.

cutlassgal

Good one Jamesbo!! I love it! I To me, you gotta have a sense of humor! When it comes down to laugh or cry, I'm going to laugh! I like people and I like to laugh.
I guess I come from a line of rednecks - depending on one's version. My mom was from West By God Virginia, and I grew up with brothers and relatives who's fields were full of old cars - always an engine or two sitting in the driveways... LOL!!
I was going to take a picture of my nephew's driveway and yard a couple years ago and submit it for "Redneck Yard Of The Week" on the Jeff Foxworthy show!! I'm sure he would have won! He laughed when I told him!!
My neck was red this summer from "sitting at car shows in my lawn chair watching the sun bake my car"!!!

citcapp

Never heard of a redneck burning the American Flag. There alright by me

cutlassgal

Second that!!