Human

Okay, I've just got to vent about this so I can put it behind me. I had a long phone conversation with my mom yesterday and she informed me that she had given away two of my late father's Oldsmobiles, a 1964 Dynamic 88 convertible and a 1967 Cutlass Supreme Turnpike Cruiser convertible. The cars had been stored for several years at the home of a shade-tree mechanic who had done work for my dad. At one point, he was supposedly working on the '64 so that it could be mine but it turned out he had done next to nothing to the car and had been feeding my dad a line of bullshit about his progress. He had agreed to purchase the '67 from Dad but my understanding is that although he'd put down a partial deposit, he later borrowed that money back so there was really nothing backing that agreement up except for a handshake and a (largely empty) promise. As part of settling Dad's estate, Mom had clear titles to both cars in her name but she and my sister didn't want to confront him to take possession of them and didn't have a good place to store them so Mom gave him the cars, neither of which are presently running but could be made to run, in exchange for him cleaning out a mostly empty rented storage unit she wants to get out from under. I had cherry-picked a few items out of there at Christmas and Easter and there wasn't much left except some miscellaneous wheels and hubcaps, some cheap tools and other worthless junk. The best of those items then got stolen from a storage unit I'm renting but that's a whole different rant.

Rather than get mad with Mom, I politely told her that Randy, the mechanic, had won and quite handsomely as she was basically paying him several thousand dollars to clean out the storage unit--and keep the contents. I further said that although I understand that she and my sister saw the cars as more of a burden than an asset, it was not a solution I would have chosen but since the cars weren't legally mine, I didn't really feel I had a say in it, beyond making polite suggestions, which I had done and which had apparently gone unheeded. Besides, it was already done. While I had largely detached myself from any outcome about those cars several years ago--it's one of the reasons I went ahead and bought my '95 Cutlass Supreme convertible--it still rankles a bit.There's really not much i can do about any of it at this point except say the Serenity Prayer a few times and move on.

Okay, I just had to get that off my chest with people who'd understand. Thanks for reading.

no1oldsfan

Man that sucks brother. Glad you could at least vent here. When people pass it brings out so much ugly in people.

oldcutlass

It is what it is.

Vintage Chief

Me and my brothers watched our Mom pull a couple of bonehead moves when our Dad passed - not too dissimilar to your story. At the end of the day, we each agreed - the things she gave away belonged to both Mom & Dad. They weren't ours to decide what she wanted to do with them. If she wanted our opinion, she might have asked. The last thing any of us wanted to do was upset the apple cart. Life's too short. It sounds like you handled it appropriately.

slantflat

Human you have my empathy. My Mom did the same thing when my Dad died. I was 16 and anything I said was dismissed. I used all the stuff she got rid of, but when I'd say hey I use that, she'd say, no you don't. That made it okay in her head to sell it. I wouldn't talk to her for two weeks after she sold the big radial arm saw.

Forty years later and she is still making decisions(with my sister) and purposely leaving me out. My point of view doesn't match theirs, therefore I find out when it's over. I've learned to live with it. You know what, I don't ask her before I do things, either.

Human

At least Mom did reimburse me the $250 I had spent on a set of tires for the '64. I guess at that point she felt as though I had no further claim on the car and could do with it as she wished. Not my monkey; not my circus, as they say.

And yeah, I didn't ask permission when I bought my convertible.

edzolz

Same thing here but only it was Mom who passed. Dad befriended a person in my home town that was a grifter and a convicted felon. He weaseled my dad out of a 20 gauge shotgun, an electric guitar and amp, some of dads clothing, do not know how much money in cash, and no telling what else from dads farm.

rocketraider

The child's curse:

"Remember who'll be choosing your nursing home"

Sorry things turned out this way. What's truly sad is the ill will yer mom has injected into her own family, probably without even realizing it.

You might be able to challenge it in court but odds are the guy would claim storage fees.

Just do not ever let your mom forget that she wronged you. Yeah, hers to do with as she pleased, but respect goes two ways.

blakes7

A lawyer once told me "If it's not in writing, it doesn't exist". And this is the problem with leaving stuff behind, many women don't know what it is or what it's worth, and have no idea how to go about selling the items. Things wind up given away, sold dirt cheap, or thrown out. I plan to leave as little as possible, having all my affairs in order (A will, properly written by a lawyer who specializes in wills).