Alright, y'all... (Texas talk)
Looks as if it is time for a small refresher course here:
(Also back due to popular demand and @&#% hot temperatures!!)

You Know You Are In Texas When....
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

* You notice your radiator is overheating, before you start your car.
* You no longer associate bridges over rivers with water.
* The thermometer in the lid of your Bar-B-Que Grill shows 150 degrees F, before you light it.
* You know a swamp cooler is not a happy hour drink.
* You hear the weather forecast for 105 degrees without flinching.
* You discover, in July it only takes two fingers to drive your car, because your steering wheel is so hot.
* You can make instant sun tea or sun tea instantly.
* You run the house a/c in the middle of winter so you can use your fireplace.
* The best parking is determined by shade.....not distance.
* Hotter water comes from the cold water tap than the hot one.
* You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
* You really can fry an egg on your car roof (that has been proven...)
* Sunscreen is sold year round, it is always kept right at the checkout counter.
* Sunscreen with less than 50 spf is called "hand cream".
* You put on fresh sunscreen just to go check the mailbox.
* Some fools market mini-misters for joggers and some other fools will actually buy them. Worse...a lot of fools actually try to jog.
* When hot air balloons can't rise because the outside air is hotter than the air inside the balloon.
* You see two trees fighting over a dog.

 

I can relate to No.4 and No.9

We had a swamp cooler when I was a kid, in the backyard. I remember seeing a photo of an early in-window A/C swamp cooler for a car someplace too.

I always chose shade over walking distance in the summer, even here in Missouri.

 

101 in md. right now. In the greenhouses about 130+. If you have to go in one when you come out 101 feels real cool for about 30 sec. I am real glad that they are empty.
Larry

Just finished working outside drank a gallon of water today

 

That last one is funny!

 

Living in Texas

May 10th
We just moved to Texas. Now this is a state that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings. Mountains and deserts blended together. Not much rain to disturb outside activities. What a place! Watched the sunset from a park lying on a blanket. It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.

June 1st
Really heating up... Got to 100 today. Not a problem. Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see the sun every day like this. I'm turning into a real sun worshipper.
June 15th Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today. Lots of cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing for me and it meets the water restrictions. Another scorcher today, but I love it here.

July 1st
The temperature hasn't been below 100 for the past 2 weeks. How do people get used to this kind of heat? Too bad it's not a dry heat. Getting used to it is taking longer than I expected.

July 5th
Fell asleep by the pool and got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body. I guess SPF 25 and lower is not recommended here. Missed two days of work, what a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though: got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.

July 15th
I finally learned what a "Heat index" is, along with "ozone alerts". Perhaps it is unhealthy to be outside here in the summer?

July 20th
I missed Tabby (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning. By the time I got out to the hot car for lunch, Tabby had swollen up to the size of a shopping bag and exploded all over $2,000 worth of leather upholstery. I told the kids she ran away. The car now smells like Kibbles and #@!*%. No more pets in this heat!

July 25th
Dry heat, my #*@!. Hot is hot!! The home air conditioner is on the fritz and AC repairman just charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed to order parts.

July 30th
Been sleeping outside by the pool for three nights now. $1,500 in #@!*^ house payments and we can't even go inside. Pool water is now up to 98 degrees, so that is not much relief. Why did I ever come here?

Aug 4th
It's 115 degrees. Finally got the #%@*! air-conditioner fixed today. It cost $1500 and gets the temperature down to about 90. I hate this stupid state.

Aug 8th
If another wise#*@% cracks, "Hot enough for you today?", I'm going to tear his throat out. #@%* heat... By the time I get to work the radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like Roasted Garfield...

Aug 10th
The weather report might as well be a #@#&*! recording: "Hot and sunny and no rain in sight for the next 7 days". It's been too hot to for two @#!&* months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this #@&$* barren desert?? Water rationing has been in effect all summer, so $1,700 worth of cactus just dried up and blew into the @%*! pool, which now is less than half full. Not even a friggin cactus can live in this heat.

Aug 14th
Welcome to Hell!!! Temperature got to 123 today. Forgot to crack the windows and blew the #*!@# windshield out of the Lincoln. The installer came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?" My wife had to spend the $1500 house payment to bail me out of jail.

Aug 30th
Worst day of the #@*^%! summer. I'm not leaving the house. The monsoon rain finally came and all they did is to make it muggier than #@*!%. The Lincoln is now floating somewhere in The Gulf of Mexico with its new $500 windshield.
That does it, we're moving back to California for some peace and quiet!!!

 

That's funny Rob!! Kinda like the one we have about the Snowplow driver - I'll have to see if I have that one somewhere.

 

 

Yep, just like I remember

 

I walked the River Walk in San Antonio one morning. All I can say is Geeze Louise 200% humidity.

 

Our local weather I just looked up says right now its 87 and feels like 95! Sky is getting darker - storm warnings out all over the place. We even had an earthquake a while ago - Clay and I felt it - Steve and Brian didn't even notice it. I was standing by Clay's desk and just swayed, lol! Weird!!! Here's a clip from the news.... Keep it in Canada, eh!


An earthquake shook Cleveland and surrounding suburbs just after 1:40 p.m. Wednesday.

The U.S. Geological Survey reports that the exact time of the quake was 1:41:41 p.m.

According to Michael Hansen of the Ohio Seismic Network, an earthquake took place and registered a 5.5 on the Richter Scale.

Bob Bartolotta, at the Natural History Museum in Cleveland, says that the quake's epicenter was 38 miles north of Ottawa, Canada, in Quebec province near the Ontario border.

Viewers are reporting that their houses were shaking and swaying from Hudson to Painesville to Canton.

Stick with Fox 8 News and FOX8.com for more information as it becomes available.

 

I didn't feel a thing?
Sounds like some maple trees and beavers got shaken though, hope the beer is okay.

If you don't like the weather in Texas why don't you move to California too Rob?
And hear I always thought you rootin'-tootin' cowboys were tough.

 

Don't ever tell a Texan that if ya cut Alaska in half, Texas would be the third largest state.

 

I am hoping to move to the Oregon coast when i retire. I stay here for the abundant good jobs and cheap living (there is a reason its cheap!)
The cowboys around here ARE tough as nails to accept this heat, especially out on the farm in in the sun all day in their heavy clothes.
I do admire the farmer's ability to endure such conditions here for such little pay for the hard work that they do. If not for them, what would we be eating? I can only imagine...
Unfortunately, i was raised as a city boy, so no real cowboy in me at all... No cowboy hats, boots, or trucks at my place. I do like country music though...
In fact those who hear me talk have a hard time believing I have lived here my whole life. Not much "country" in dallas.

CG, send some of that wet stuff down here, we can all we can get.
Remember that song - down here, "Rain is a good thing" (and for all the good reasons!
BTW, as long as that quake did not spill any beer, it is considered minor.

 

"Well where I come from, Rain is a good thing!" Yep.... I'm tired of it already. Wish I could send you some.

 

We love it here. As the song suggests, "Rain makes corn, corn makes whiskey, whiskey makes my girlfriend feel frisky..."

 

Rob:

My first summer in Texas was 1980 which was referred to as the Great Texas Heat Wave. I may be off a day or two but we had 42 consecutive days over 100 and a total of like 64 days over 100. The official high was 113 degrees on two days. I moved here from north Louisiana so I guess it was fortunate I did not come from a cool climate. I will never move since my two kids and three grandkids are here and I do love Texas except the weather.

 

Rob,

Come to Houston and you will see what hot is. Humidity you can cut with a knife.Even with the very hot temperature here one of the best places to live. I can remember having my air conditioner on at times even in December.I am a native Houstonian and have lived here all my life except one year my company decided to transfer me to St. Louis. I love living in Texas! Especially since we do not have a state income tax, and housing is very affordable. I can cut my lawn and loose 5 to 7 lbs sweating and I am talking about early in the morning. We just deal with the heat.

 

I lived through that, but do not remember it.
My mom had my old Ford for 2 years then, and had to drive it in that heat with no A/C. Hard to imagine - ouch...

The second heatwave was 1998 - I remember that clearly and have the t-shirt, too, as a reminder. I had a sprinkler system installed that year as I could not deal with trying to keep the lawn and gardens alive any longer. They broke their digging machine going through the compacted-cement-like muck that my house is built on...

This past year sucked - too cold in the winter now too hot in the summer. Where did that nice weather go?? Got some car work done, but not enough...

 

Summers here can be hot, but it is virtually impossible to beat the rest of the year in the North Texas area. Fall and Spring are incredible, and the winters are mostly mild, with the occaisional snow day, with temps hardly ever below the high twenties. There is not constant rain like in the upper west coast, or looong cold winters like on the East coast. We have lived many spots but like it here. Just about 1 and a half or 2 months are hot, and it isn't Azizona hot, so it is survivable. That said, it was still funny to read the little vignettes above.
As a side note, we lived in Vermont once...42 below zero overnite on the front porch thermometer, with snow from October to April. I prefer the great 10 months of the year here...I drive with the top down all the time throughout the year.

 

Texas sounds just like Arizona. Especially number 2. Water under a bridge is unheard of in Tucson

 

After the Civil War Gen. T. Sherman was the military governor of Texas. His headquarters was in Austin but he also spent a lot of time in San Antonio.

In one of his letters he wrote about how hot it was in the summer. He said, "If I owned both Hell and Texas I would live in Hell and rent out Texas."

Yup, it can get hot there.

 

At least in AZ, you have more of a 'dry' heat...
We have that dreaded heat index from all the humidity...



I feel that way sometimes, too.
Can't wait till fall!

 

I thought your cowboy hats kept you shaded and cool in the Summer down there?
Don't you dip your bandanas in the cool crick water down in the draw by the old cottonwoods and tie it around your neck??
How many gallons is your hat Rob?
Do Canadian cowboy hats use litres??

 

Shaded, but still darn hot...

Hard to find a crick with water in it during our summers.

Never had a hat. (Yep, bad excuse for a native texan...)
Neighbors have some. Not sure how many gallons they hold - the capacity was not printed on the tag.

Does Canada even have cowboys?

 

I was just in Waxahachie, Texas this Monday and Tuesday on Business. 93-95 with the high humidity the index was about 102 felt like I was in a steam bath. Not my kind of heat. Redeye in Redeye out. One of these days I am going to stay and extra couple of days and meet you and Richard.

 

Canada has a lot of cowboys, the Calgary Stampede is happening as we speak.

No hat Rob?
You did have toy six shooters as a kid?
All we sang in elementary school were Texas songs.

I'm going to leave
Old Texas now
Ain't got no use
For a longhorn cow

In Home on the Range why do deer and cantelope play anyway, some sort of deer game with fruit???

I wish I could wear a cowboy hat along with some furry chaps but people looked at me sort of funny-like last time I wore them.

Would you wear a black or a white hat Rob?
BTW, I still want to be your sidekick.

 

Canada does not have alot of cowboy's, Calgary has alot of people that for one week think they're cowboy's, much to the dismay of real ranchers in this province.

Attention lady's and gent's, a village people cowboy had does not make you a cowboy, it makes you weird. That is all.

 

Citcapp, temps were in the 80s all last week with showers on an off...you came a week too early Summer on the East Coast is actually worse than what it's been here this year.

 

You could have come now. Heat indexes at 105-107. Not the time to be out, but the yard does require it...

No hat. I had some toy guns, still have 'em somewhere. Now the 'real' toy gun is the Red Ryder. Real revolvers are in the works...

Neighbors on the ranch up the road from me have some nice looking Longhorn steer, along with goats and sheep.

CANTALOPE?? That's antelope, Blue!

Wear them in my town and you'll still look funny.

Most cowboys have whitish hats to wear in the fields to reflect the sun.

If you ride to close to my side, you will probably get kicked. Shows how much control of a horse I have...

Like the country song goes "Don't call 'im a cowboy, 'til ya see 'im ride..."

 

We are planning a move from Cambridge England to Rockwall Texas soon. We handle weather the simple way, cold put on a coat hot take it off , rain open umbrella, stops close it. love the USA all of it. Andy

 

Cecil,

Man your looking at a big weather change. May need the umbrella just to ward of the sun. The humidity is so thick it feels like rain

 

Coming to Tx, I am not sure if I should be sympathetic or welcoming...
I remember England as being so lush and comfortable. I look forward to revisiting there.
But over here you don't have to worry about ice or snow or earthquakes. It gets very hot and humid in summer, but you just hibernate those 4 months out of the year.

So why Rockwall? It is about 15 minutes from where I live. Nice place, but is getting crowded. Next to a lake for recreation on one side and open country on the other side - great for cruising.

Let me know when you plan to move!
I love the USA also; I just hate what is happening to it...

 

Wow! I lived in England...it is actually more moist than here in Texas. You guys have the wet cold which goes into the joints.
Summers here in the North Texas area where you will be moving vary from year to year. Some years the Summers are mild, other years it can be 100 degrees for 2 weeks straight or more, but that is rare. Last week, highs were only in the 80's and lows in the high 60's -low 70's. Most years the really hot weather lasts only two months, with the other 10 months being great. Like Rob said, staying inside for those 2 months helps, though after a while you get used to the heat. People still have off season soccer and football programs during the Summer for 13 year olds and up, so it can definitely be done. Just make sure to drink plenty of fluids your first week here.
I too, like Rob, am disapointed in the direction our country is going, hopefully a better direction is coming, so we can all enjoy being here. Welcome!

 

What city are you in anyway? You sound close by...

 

I moved to Texas in Dec,1978 from Mo. We thought we had died and gone to heaven,wow were we wrong. January came along and we saw the worst ice storm ever. We are still here and yes the conditions are sometimes extreme but not always in a bad way.

 

Rob Sum one sent me this and I thought of this thread. It's miserable here too.

 

That's funny, Jamesbo!!!

 

Do you wear your cowboy boots with shorts when it's hot down there???
I always wondered... How do you cowboys keep your spurs from tearing up your interior???

 

The mental picture of cowboy boots, shorts, and a cowboy hat on Rob freezes my brain......can't..........think.........talk...... ...later.......

 

Funny Jamesbo... Ever wonder how they can even grow corn in this state?? I guess we are number one for selling popcorn for a reason!

Looks like i will have to borrow my neighbors hat and boots and post a hilarious picture!

It has been 100+ for the past 8 days, with a high at my place of 107.3
I sure miss being outside...