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Old Jan 12, 2011 | 02:14 PM
  #1  
Col Wickham's Avatar
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...should get a life....
 
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 717
From: Orangeville, NSW, Australia
The Stranger

Got this via email from a friend. How true it is

The Stranger

Years after I was born, my Dad met a stranger who was new to our

small town. From the beginning, Dad was fascinated with this enchanting

newcomer and soon invited him to live with our family. The stranger was

quickly accepted and was around from then on.


As I grew up, I never questioned his place in my family. In my

young mind, he had a special niche. My parents were complementary

instructors: Mum taught me good from evil, and Dad taught me to obey. But

the stranger... he was our storyteller. He would keep us spellbound for

hours on end with adventures, mysteries and comedies.


If I wanted to know anything about politics, history or science,

he always knew the answers about the past, understood the present and even

seemed able to predict the future! He took my family to the first major

league ball game. He made me laugh, and he made me cry. The stranger never

stopped talking, but Dad didn't seem to mind.

Sometimes, Mum would get up quietly while the rest of us were

shushing each other to listen to what he had to say, and she would go to the

kitchen for peace and quiet.

(I wonder now if she ever prayed for the stranger to leave.)

Dad ruled our household with certain moral convictions, but the

stranger never felt obligated to honour them. Profanity, for example, was

not allowed in our home - not from us, our friends or any visitors. Our

long time visitor, however, got away with four-letter words that burned my

ears and made my dad squirm and my mother blush. My Dad didn't permit the

liberal use of alcohol but the stranger encouraged us to try it on a regular

basis. He made cigarettes look cool, cigars manly, and pipes distinguished.

He talked freely (much too freely!) about sex. His comments were sometimes

blatant, sometimes suggestive, and generally embarrassing..

I now know that my early concepts about relationships were

influenced strongly by the stranger. Time after time, he opposed the values

of my parents, yet he was seldom rebuked... And NEVER asked to leave.

More than fifty years have passed since the stranger moved in

with our family. He has blended right in and is not nearly as fascinating as

he was at first. Still, if you could walk into my parents' den today, you

would still find him sitting over in his corner, waiting for someone to

listen to him talk and watch him draw his pictures.

His name???

We just call him "TV." I really fear what his grandkids will be

like.

He has a wife now...we call her "Computer."

Their first child is "Cell Phone."

Second child "I Pod."
Old Jan 12, 2011 | 02:57 PM
  #2  
citcapp's Avatar
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Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 9,127
From: Rathdrum, Idano
How true.
Old Jan 12, 2011 | 03:31 PM
  #3  
stevengerard's Avatar
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Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 4,533
From: Chi-town
I like that, that's why we only have one of 'em in our house
Old Jan 12, 2011 | 07:08 PM
  #4  
OLD SKL 69's Avatar
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Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 3,982
From: Long Island, New York
I like that, that's why we only have one of 'em in our house
x2 same here
Old Jan 12, 2011 | 10:12 PM
  #5  
442much's Avatar
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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 2,623
From: Sherwood Park, Alberta
Well, here's an email I received and it's true too.

Sexand Good Grammar

On his 74th birthday, a man got a gift certificate from his wife. The certificate paid for a visit to a medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction.

After being persuaded, he drove to the reservation, handed his ticket to the medicine man, and wondered what he was in for.

The old man handed a potion to him and, with a grip on his shoulder, warned, "This is a powerful medicine. You take only a teaspoonful and then say '1-2-3'." When you do, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your life and you can perform as long as you want."

The man was encouraged. As he walked away, he turned and asked, "How do I stop the medicine from working?" "Your partner must say '1-2-3-4'," he responded, "but when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon."

He was very eager to see if it worked, so he went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine, and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom. When she came in, he took off his clothes and said, "1-2-3!" Immediately he was the manliest of men.

His wife was excited and began throwing off her clothes and then she asked, "What was the 1-2-3 for?"

And that, boys and girls, is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition, because we could end up with a dangling participle.
Old Jan 12, 2011 | 10:35 PM
  #6  
bil's Avatar
bil
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Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 301
From: Westmoreland,NH-Malibu CA
The television one is oh so true.My mothers uncle worked for bell labs developing television in the early days.He said that if he knew what it would be used for,he wouldn't have bothered.I work in television at times,and try to make something of quality and worth.There is not much of a market for it,folks have grown to accept crap,and the execs have caught on.I rarely ever watch it myself.And now I have to be worried about counting! Fortunately,we usually count backwards in tv and movies! ---bil
Old Jan 13, 2011 | 12:16 PM
  #7  
cutlassgal's Avatar
Cutlass Lover
 
Joined: Jul 2009
Posts: 6,587
From: Twinsburg, Ohio
Ken, that's funny right there, lol!!!!

Colonel..... that is a true thing. I never saw that one before. I passed it along.
Old Jan 13, 2011 | 02:11 PM
  #8  
Col Wickham's Avatar
Thread Starter
...should get a life....
 
Joined: Aug 2009
Posts: 717
From: Orangeville, NSW, Australia
Originally Posted by bil
The television one is oh so true.My mothers uncle worked for bell labs developing television in the early days.He said that if he knew what it would be used for,he wouldn't have bothered.I work in television at times,and try to make something of quality and worth.There is not much of a market for it,folks have grown to accept crap,and the execs have caught on.I rarely ever watch it myself.And now I have to be worried about counting! Fortunately,we usually count backwards in tv and movies! ---bil
You're right about crap that catches on......and on and on and on...
Seems every second channel down here has some kind of cooking show "Iron Chef, Master Chef, Food Safari, Poh's Kitchen, Jamie Whatsit, Celebrity Chef" etc etc etc......or bloody dancing shows. Not too often you get to watch something that you take something positive away from.
Old Jan 13, 2011 | 05:54 PM
  #9  
bil's Avatar
bil
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Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 301
From: Westmoreland,NH-Malibu CA
The problem was accelerated by the writers strike several years ago.No scripted shows were made during that time,and the studios started to shoot the 'reality' shows,as supposedly they were unscripted.Then they realised that people would actually watch them.And that other people were willing to make a$$es of themselves on TV for FREE!!! That really set them off,there were a few of these shows before,many now.
The problem becomes than few of the bean-counters want to spend money on quality programing when cheap junk will do.They figured out that once someone plopped down on the couch,they would watch whatever was on.Mindless pap. It become a choice of not what do I WANT to watch,but one of what is least objectionable. There are some really good shows being made,but the cheap junk proliferates. Television has discovered the Wal-Mart business model,but it doesn't really work for them.They just haven't realised it yet. ---bil
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