cutlassgal

Well.... haven't even made a payment on it yet. Haven't seen the damage done. Only good thing is no one was hurt - as far as I know.

Guess who did NOT fly to Virginia?? Guess who DROVE the Colbalt?? Guess who DIDN'T KNOW anything about it???


If you guessed me on the third one, you'd be correct.

She calls me crying all hysterically this afternoon, saying "Mom, if I tell you something, will you promise not to kill me?" "I totally didn't listen to you and something happened." My heart was pounding, I'm worried out of my mind..... and she tells me she took the car to Virginia. And she pulled out in front of a GMC something or other and got broadsided. She has no friggin clue she could have been killed, and others also.

So then this boy's father gets on the phone - evidently the boy was in the car with her - and I can hear her running her mouth in the background - I'm sure she hung herself with the cops cause she doesn't have the sense to be quiet and was scared to death - but the kids dad tells me the cops are there and they're filling out the accident form. I gave him my insurance info, there was no card in that car cause I didn't get one for it yet. Had I known she was gonna steal the car, I'd have put one in it just so they'd know I do have an insurance company.

I called my insurance company and gave them what little info I had. The kids dad calls me again and tells me that the cars were towed somewhere, and he will call my insurance co. tomorrow.

I've never had an accident or used my insurance, so I don't know how this all works. I don't know how to get the car back here. I don't know if it's driveable. I don't know if the frame is bent. I don't know any friggin thing.

My insurance lady said an adjuster will call me tomorrow. I really hope they total the friggin thing and pay it off.

Then I had to come home and tell Larry. Of course it's because I let her do too much. I do too much for her. I didn't put my foot up her *** enough. I let her get away with things. Whatever.

I couldn't tell him she's with some friggin boy that she met online. I know one thing, and that is the computer is no longer in the house. She will not sit on it anymore like she has and talk to these people.

When she gets back here, I don't know what she's gonna do. She will never drive my car again. I will not help her again. I will not trust her again. I will not believe her again. If I'd have had any idea at all that she was planning on taking that car, it would have never happened. And she knew that. I told her on Thursday that "the car will not leave the state of Ohio."

She had better plan on friends carting her around, and she better plan on spending time working at McDonalds inbetween her regular job - if she doesn't lose it - until she pays me, and until she can afford her own insurance. I am through being used and taken advantage of. By anyone.

Call it tough love. Call it me being a bit*h. I don't care. I can't believe she did this. If she hadn't of wrecked it, I can't believe that she would of taken it in the first place knowing it's in my name and not caring. I can't believe she drove down there in that weather. My God. She has no experience. I just can't even think about it.

Guess I wait to hear from the adjuster person tomorrow and see what he says, then figure out how to get it back here. I don't even know where Burke Va. is. Guess I'll find out.

I'm just heartsick. She had no respect for me or my feelings or my kindness. It's what she wanted when she wants it. She has really hurt me this time. I won't let her be the death of me, and it seems that's where it's heading. I'll let you know what I hear tomorrow.

sicky olds

Speaking from the younger generation i guess i will chip in , please keep in mind i have no clue what your household is like or how young/old your daughter is. First and foremost be glad she didnt try to drive your cutlass and glad everyone is ok. Yes it sucks she took the car but isnt that how kids are supposed to be sometimes? i know i would always get into stuff i wasnt supposed to. SIDE STORY TIME: dad's F-150 when me and my brother were 3 and 4 . i was the pedals he was the steering and gears. We ended up going forward thank god and ran over the lawn mower and hit the lilac tree right in front of it lol.

Was it a long drive? HELL YEAH it was and definately not weather permittable AT ALL. Was it stupid of her? you better believe it!
Should you have tough love on her? DAMN SKIPPY (make her work off the deductible of the car/insurance increase on the prices)
Will she do it again? Most likely not in the car sense but kids will be kids lol.

Point of me ranting about nothing is to say she probably loves you dearly and knows she messed up big time. Live and let learned (or something like that).

As far as insurance go and me being a good source of accidents... the adjuster will assess the damages of the car and decide whether or not it is worth fixing. if it is you pay the deductible (assuming you have full coverage due to you havent made a payment on it) and they fix it for that much.
Now if it is totalled and you have gap covreage, same thing except they pay off your car and payments while you pay the deductible. if you dont have gap coverage and the car is worth less than what you owe then you pay deductible and what is over the cars limit.

Dont quote me on this stuff or hate me for any of what i say, just me trying to cheer people up in a weird way .

Hope everything works out and good luck with everything
Tom AKA Sicky

Lady72nRob71

OUCH!!
I am glad she is okay - thats what counts. Glad it was not the Olds, either!!
I hope it turns out well in the end - i will keep my fingers crossed!

OLD SKL 69

Wow, sorry to hear that Sandy. Thank god she's okay, or at least until she gets home. I know I would be pissed too. I don't blame you if you ground her indefinitely. Hopefully your insurance company doesn't zing you. Keep us posted.

compedgemarine

as part of the older generation I will throw in my 2 cents. I have two stepdaughters (both in their 20s) and they never did any thing like this because they knew the end result. while I did my share of stupid things as a kid (there is a BIG difference between a 4 year old and a 16+ year old) I never took the folks car or stole from them or any thing else because I would have been tossed out of the house that day. My girls knew that had they pulled a stunt like take a car without approval that I would let the police take them to jail while I decided if I wanted to bail them out or not. kids need limits and they need to know what the result will be if they violate that limit. good luck with the insurance but that will work it self out. how to handle the girl is what you need to focus on.

jensenracing77

sorry to hear of your trouble. grounding with no date it is over is the worst. my parents did that to me one time. i couldn't watch TV, ride my 3 wheelers, bike, drive..... all i could do is work around the house (chop 10 ricks of wood with a maul, dishes, 4 ton of rock in the driveway with a shovel...) and if i didn't i had to sit in my room. after a month i ask if it had ben long enough and they said it almost was but since i ask it will be at least another month. it ended up being 3 months before i was able to do something again, and it was still on a limited bases. worst 3 months of my life. let me tell you, i never put another bomb in a mailbox after that. i didn't do anything bad after that.

car_designer

Sorry to hear about it, but luckily everyone is physically ok, for now. Hope everything turns out ok.

71supreme

Wow, I'm sorry Sandy.

I can't say I ever would have done anything like that, but I did get into an accident while on my permit, and worked until I payed off the $1900.00 in damage I had done. $1000.00 came from a contest I had won, and boy did it hurt having to give mom & dad the whole thing!

Here in Maine if you get into an accident in your 1st year of your license, it's an automatic 90 day license suspension.

Good Luck Sandy, just please don't kill her

rocketraider

Burke is up near DC, in Joe Padavano territory. Very urban and congested area. How old is she, and what the hell was she thinking setting out on a 250+ mile trip in the face of a severe snowstorm forecast?

If the car is totalled (and in a broadside accident it probably will be, esp if airbags deployed), tell her she owes you the difference between the insurance payout and the loan payoff. She also owes you any increase in your insurance premium as a result of this crash. Finally, she has to buy and insure her own car from here on out. Then ask her if that snot-nosed boy was worth it.

Ya hate to do that, but sometimes hitting them in the wallet is the only way to get their attention. When I blew the engine in my Mama's car, my daddy told the Chevy dealer to get a junkyard engine, install it, and "charge everything to this fellow standing right here" (me). I got the message real damn quick.

sicky olds

agreed rocket and with the grounding, especially with us ohioan kids it means just sneak out and do whatever, which leads to bad things IMHO. But that could just be me. speaking on behalf of my experience with my family (me being the only one that never gotten arrested and one of the only with a diploma lol)

BIGJERR

Sandy Tuff love sucks real bad..........ask me how I know, I'm raising my 4 year old granddaughter because of it............stand firm and keep the faith!.................Jerr

Col Wickham

Glad she's OK Sandy. When it's all washed up that's all that matters. Not the first kid to do something dumb and won't be the last. She'll be beating herself up pretty bad for a long time. At least she should be. Probably no real need for real "tough love"....just love. She's down the bottom of a pretty deep hole she's dug for herself and she's gotta dig herself out. If she feels that everyone up on the surface is down on her she might just decide to keep tunnelling and who knows where she'll surface.
Of course if in two weeks time it's like nothing happened and it's Mum can you do this, pay for that, take me here and there,....then give her the shovel & push her back into the hole.
2011 will get better buddy

cutlassgal

Thanks guys. I know she is sorry - she got busted in the worst way! Will she ever do it again? I don't know. I would like to think not, but evidently she lies and manipulates. So I don't know. Will I ever trust her again? No. I won't.

Yes, I made bad choices and did stupid things also when I was 18 - her age- but I never ever would have made a trip like that by myself, especially in my mother's car - without her knowing! Especially in my mother's car that she bought for me and sunk every extra penny she had in it.

I wasn't ever fortunate enough to have a car bought for me. Believe me, Nicole will be paying me back for a long time. I guess I'll have to cart her *** around again. She's not going to have the money to pay me, pay insurance and get another car. Not for a long long time. We have no bus service. I'll worry about that later.

She said she got a $30.00 ticket and was cited for "not seeing the stop sign in time to stop" whatever that means. Here that would mean " failure to yield" I think. I don't know. Larry was still yelling about it at 7:00 this morning! Oh my God. I told him it's over, it's done, I'm not going to beat it to death. I just know she's in for a rude awakening when she gets home. You would think she'd cut the trip short and get her butt back here to work because she needs money, but God forbid she do that!

I don't even know how she's getting home. I don't really care at this point. Her problem. Well I'll let you know what I hear from the adjuster. I got a call from Geico last night - must be the other persons insurance co. - I didn't answer the call, but I guess I should call them back. Said they had some questions. Hell, I don't know anything, I wasn't there. My car shouldn't have been either.

sicky olds

geauga transit doesnt run anymore? i remember taking that thing to preschool when i was a kid and thought it still ran

Jamesbo

Sorry to hear that Sandy but I'm glad she's Ok.

Speaking from a position of being one of the stupidiest kids that survived my teens/twenties. I learned the hard way and it stuck.

Hopefully, This will be one of those life changing lessons that will end up making her a better person. I'll keep my fingers crossed.

There's nothing like doing a long tour of duty at Mickey D's flipping burgers for minimum wage to give you some time to ponder you errors.

From my experience, the adjuster is just going down a list of questions. " I don't know." is an honest answer.

rocketraider

That sounds like local LE handled it, not a Virginia State Trooper. "Failure to yield", "failure to observe stop sign or red signal" or "unsafe movement" is what the charge usually is, and the ticket would be well over $30.00. Court costs are what eats you alive in the Commonwealth.

Sandy, when I quit bailing my brat out, that's when he finally grew up and assumed some responsibility. When I let him pull 30 days in county jail over unpaid tickets, the light bulb went on in his head. He hated me for a while, but he's 34 now and doing well for himself.

bil

Sorry to hear this-I had something like this last year-my daughters sort-of husband 'borrowed' my car to go to work and totaled it.Then he won 15r grand in a scratch ticket when I was away working,and spent it before I got back! I offered to let him work it off,the first job was digging a hole out in the desert,but he caught on. Good luck,and remember that kids grow out of stupid stuff.At least that is what I tell my mother.... ---bil
PS-be thankful no one was hurt!

lshlsh2

Glad she is ok. Hope all goes well.
Larry

citcapp

Glad you daughters OK and no one else was hurt. My middle son has done that a couple of times and more, long story 40 years old and finally hopefully done with that kind of stuff. Sometimes they have to go all the way to the bottom to get it. Hope that is not the case with your daughter. I feel bad that your partner in life is not supporting you in this. Larry is the one that needs to grow up here and be part of the solution. Took my wife and I workling together to get through it.

Sandy, stay tough don't give up you have what it takes I can see it in your words. Its your house you make the rules, make them harsh, lots of chores all money turned over to you and a small allowance and a strict curfew. You will soon find out if she has the moxi to face up to her actions, most don't the first time their faced with this kind of thing they just want to ignore it hoping it will just go away.

Wishing the best for you

Pat

wolfman98

The good news is that her mistake did not cause her harm , though maybe trust with her parents. My son only got beaters and wrecked 3 so far , he will turn 19 on Jan 1. He is very smart if he chooses to be but does stupid kid stuff. He plans on the bar New Years Eve at 12:01 am , I told him to cab it and gave him enough money for it. They are considered adults by law but will remain kids while going through experiences like this. I guess your insurance is going to take a hit and hers will not be affordable for her if she ever gets another car. Probably only if this one is fixable and she pays mom back. kenneths first nice car will be one he buys , remember that she will always be your child Sandy

lshlsh2

Hate to say it. But it might be time to do a little snooping to find out how bad things are. If she is still living at home.
Larry

cutlassgal

Well I heard from the adjuster - finally. She's trying to locate someone in VA to go look at the car. In the meantime, the kids dad where Nicole is staying, talked to the adjuster also and gave her info I don't have. He is going now to get the car out of storage and see if it's driveable. He said he would have to do something about the back window - door window, I presume, but I don't know - he said it was hit mostly on the back passenger door- drivers side, and some on the drivers door. He thinks the frame is ok and they probably won't total it. I don't know. I'm just sick.

I had to lie to the lady and say Nicole had my permission to have the car. I didn't like doing that. She did have my permission because I thought it was going to a friends house and being parked. But they wouldn't do anything if I said she stole the damned thing......

She was hit by a Jeep Liberty. Another young girl.

I have snooped on occassion - not something I like doing at all, just when she acts suspicious. I never find anything. I don't know all her passwords on the sites she goes on on the internet. The ones I do know, I get in and look around. She always finds out though and changes her passwords. I don't know what her problem is that she evidently thinks she doesn't get enough attention or something, and has to go off to meet strangers. Honest to God I don't understand that at all.

If she were under 18, her *** would be at Juvie just as soon as she gets back. Maybe they could straighten her out. I don't know. She doesn't smoke, drink, experiment with drugs, she's kind, polite, nice, generous. She doesn't party or go out other than to a movie or something. I don't know. She's a pretty girl with a good personality. I don't understand why she has to seek attention on the internet!
Well the computer is going to be gone when she gets back. I may take the new Ipod touch I got her for Christmas too, cause I think it can be used as a computer? May take the PS3 also cause I think they can use that as a computer somehow too or something. I may be wrong. Technologically challenged as I am. I don't know. I just know I own her for the next several years....... I will always love her, but sometimes I don't like her at all.

66ninetyeightls

Glad she is safe. Sorry for the stress its causing you.

And you are correct. All those things can be used to access the internet!!

rocketraider

Sandy- hate to be a purveyor of doom and gloom, but here's what happened in Vajenya a couple years ago with teenagers who met over the internet. I realise there's plenty of sane people out there looking for friendships and relationships, but there's always the risk one of them isn't...

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn...092304781.html

Farmville isn't that far from here and is a typical sleepy Southern college town. The kind of place you'd never expect anything like McCroskey to happen.

Monitor her internet use hard, for her sake.

ScottMHoffman

Sorry to here about your trouble. But some CYA about this loss. DO NOT talk to the other insurance company, do not let your daughter talk to the other insurance company. Give them your insurance company name, policy number, claim number, adjusters name and contact info and tell the other carrier your insurance company is handling for you. If anyone was injured even slightly they can sue you and you do not want to say something to the other carrier that your later regret.

If your daughter has not talked to your insurance company, have her write down what happen and make sure it is clear and concise. Have her read her description of the accident to your carrier.

Your insurance company is your lawyer. What you say can and will be used against you in the court of law.

Finally regarding the permission, unless your daughter truthfully stole the car and you are willing to have her arrested for theft, she had permission. Hell, the other carrier would actually take you to court and make you prove your daughter did not have permission. If someone takes a car without permission, you are covered for the damage to your car but will not have coverage for the damage to others. The courts want the 3rd party paid for their injuries so denying she had permission is difficult.

cutlassgal

Well if she gets on the internet now, it won't be at the house. I've had it. She'll have to go to the library or use a friends computer. My laptop is going to be locked up so she can't get to it. She just doesn't understand what can happen and she isn't stupid. Well maybe she is. I don't know anymore.

She throws it in my face that I talk to all of you online. I tell her, well it's not like I'm making special trips to go and see you guys and stay with you, like she seems to think it's perfectly ok to do with strangers. We all talk. I met Bluevista and HIS WIFE. Someday, yes, I would like to meet others. But I'm sure it will be in PUBLIC places and not one on one. We're older and we understand the dangers. She's young and should understand, since these horrific crimes and such are mostly in her age groups, and mostly due to crap they talk about on the internet. Arrrrgggggghhhhh!

67442nut

Listen to Larry.

Lady72nRob71

I once took my mom's car (86 Cutlass) out long ago without permission when i was 15. It's a kids thing to want to take the chances to show off and have fun.
I burned some rubber that night, and showed off to the girl I had a crush on. I also visited my friend and ended up bumping his dad's car.
Unfortunately, his did was IN the car! Luckily, it was a Caprice, we both had big chrome bumpers so there was no damage, except to my ego.
He told me to ditch the left handed cigarettes and get my butt home.

I ended up confessing to my mom so that she would hide the keys and not put me into temptation again. it worked.

Everyone with teens should take driving seriously and pound sense into their heads as soon as possible, setting the rules before they hit the road. When i got my license, my mom wrote only ONE rule: Wreck the car doing something stupid and you will be riding a bicycle. One chance only!
I remembered that clearly and i still have not wrecked!

I have dodged many a young people who do not stop for stop signs - my experience and attention won. In Sandy's case, there were two inexperienced minds, both contributing to the accident. If one was playing with a phone, then there is the fault...

Looks like your daughter will be working to pay off the damage very soon. I would take away all those gadgets - make her work and earn money and be constantly reminded to be more careful. It could have been much worse. She could have pulled out in front of a Texas dump truck driven by a fresh-from-the-border illegal!

cutlassgal

Too late. Nicole informed me she, her friend in the car, and her friend's dad already talked to Geico, the other persons ins.

oldsguybry

sorry to hear about your dilema , at least she is ok......which brings back some memories myself. I never took car without asking first , but if my Dad knew what I was doing with it he would of said NO ! lol , like seeing how far the wheels can leave the ground or laying burners around every corner and doing brakestands and not to mention , speeding....I myself learned from the mistakes I made and hopefully she will too.

coltsneckbob

This is certainly a difficult situation.....I extend my sympathies for the turmoil ur enduring.

I have to say though that the biggest issue here is that your daughter (even if she is 18) would take off to meet someone she met online. As another post said that could have turned out to be a much worse disaster. I don't know you or your daughter, but from here, on the face if it, it appears she is extremely immature.

I don't ascribe to the notion that "kids will be kids". Most kids (teenagers) I have known didn't committ compound errors in judgement such as this. As I said it seems like she has growing up to do. I do think that your expressed intention of "tough love" is an appropriate tactic, but you might want to consider professional help too. You said she is bringing up that you post to this forum and that she implies that is the same as her meeting this boy. Well, that arguement is just another indication of immaturity and highlights an inability even now to comprehend the real and potential consequences of her actions.

cutlassgal

I agree with you 100%.

jensenracing77

just remember, her kids will get even for you when she has kids in there teens and 20s.
i think you are going in a good direction by taking those things away. she will just have to earn your trust back to get them back. for me it took a long time. i never seen my parents so hurt. looking back, that was the worst part.

gearheads78

Sorry to hear all this. We all did dumb things as kids but the kids today seem to take it to a new level. I hope it all works out for you.

z11375ss

That's nothing compared to what I did as a kid.

coltsneckbob

Be careful what you say as it may be used against you

And also u should note the statute of limitations on any crimes you may have committed before commenting

Higgins

If you are seeking opinions and advice from us here on the forum, this is the man to listen to.
It took the U.S. Army's 101st Airborne and the first Iraq war to make my son grow up.

coltsneckbob

I had heard war does that !!

Willidog

Sounds like a tough situation. Maybe it's good that you won't see her for a few days to allow you to cool down about it. I don't know how I would react if my son did something like that. I know my Dad bought one brand new car (1980 Chevy Citation haha) in his entire life and me and a buddy took it out and wrecked it for him. I thought he would kill me when I told him but he didin't. He certainly wasn't happy about it but I didn't get beat or anything. II let my buddy drive and he put it in a ditch but I had to take the blame rather than saying I was stupid enough to let him drive it. Frame was bent and my Dad drove it that way for the rest of the time he owned it which was about 8 years. I would say if the car is fixable to go ahead and fix it and like has been stated let her pay the deductible and the part of the premium that is above what you are paying now. As far as meeting people on line, too many bad things come from these types of meetings. If you didn't know she was meeting some one then I would be VERY concerned. Maybe she doesn't understand the danger she is putting herself in by meeting people she doesn't know and no one else knowing about it either. Not too bright. It will be pretty hard for her to get her own insurance now with an accident on her record. Hope everything works out and cool heads prevail upon her return.

cutlassgal

Well.... I wish I knew how to get the pics off my phone, that Nicole sent me of the car so you could see it. All I can say is thank God no one was in the backseat. Thank God they weren't hurt. My God. I have goosebumps just looking at those pics and thinking what could have happened.

I heard from the adjuster down in VA this morning. She's pretty sure they are going to total it. From the looks of it, I'd say so. I tried to get her the financial information on and from the bank it's financed through, and they don't even have me in their system yet, as it usually takes 12 - 21 days they said. I told the lady I haven't even gotten a payment book or slip yet! So I have to call the bank back on Monday and see if I'm in the system yet.

She just doesn't realize the consequences of her actions. Now some innocent girl is without her vehicle, other parents are upset and having to deal with stress that shouldn't have happened, I'm talking to like 10,000 people about all this..... God.
What a horrible mess. Should have never happened.