billmerbach

Well I'm pretty po'd right now as I just got chewed out for my parts being on the ground mand one of those parts was my heads. I had them sitting on a cast iron 318 block and my brother like always screwing with my stuff decided to push it off the Mopar block and it hit my motor Mount edge and I'm pretty sure he cracked them I'm just so mad he always does that to my motor stuff

Octania

Your brother needs to learn to respect others' stuff - maybe have a calm discussion first about how that affects others [you]. Are you sure it was a person, not a critter knocked the thing off? Cats, dogs, coons, etc?

You should probably do better at storing your stuff
I doubt any serious damage came from a 1 ft drop- but have it checked
I have all kinds of spare heads if you need some

billmerbach

Ik I should hablve store them better but that was the most visible place for them and it wasn't a critter because they were sitting flush all the way on the block plus he said in his little devious manner I'm gonna mess up your engine and plus I've tried talking to him and he wouldn't listen

gearheads78

Older or yonger brother? Sounds like he's due for a good beat down.

billmerbach

Younger but he has autism so I can't do nothing or he could get me for bullying if I hurt him to bad

gearheads78

How about making him involed in the project? Might not be so inclined to tear things up?

billmerbach

That's the thing anything I ask or tell him to do he ddoesnt want to

coppercutlass

Are the actually broke. Or you think they are. Spend 50 bucks have em magged.

billmerbach

I think they are I hope not but with him who knows

Octania

How old are all y'all?

Autism...
not too familiar with that one
but I know it's human nature to get away with what one can and to use every excuse available to do so. If no one corrects ill behavior under the theory that you can't pick on the poor kid, it'll just get worse. Depending on the extent he is capable, he should be held responsible for his actions.

You can do a lot if intimidation w/o actually hurting also.

Physically separate your stuff- keep it locked?
Meanwhile, just look a the parts. Blocks of cast iron are pretty sturdy. Maybe there's no actual damage.

billmerbach

Octania I've been telling my parents and other people that but noooooo and I do intimidate him but nothing and its in the shed that my dad sends him out to the most I need a stand I'm trying to see if someone around me has one I can borrow till I can get my own

billmerbach

And I'm 16 he's 13

billmerbach

Well I'm glad I went out there and checked from what I can tell nothing which takes a load off my chest

Koda

I think it's time for you to be a man and draw the line. Tell your father that your brother's behavior is unacceptable, and ask him what he is going to do to control his child. Don't ultimatum him, just bring it to his attention. Ask him where you can secure your stuff. If something happens again, and you take some action of your own, you need to be able to come back with "I asked you to help, and you did nothing." Don't say "You control him or I will." Give him the opportunity to control him, and, if he doesn't, then you do it. No need to announce it beforehand, though.

Childhood is tough because you are forced to be with people you may not like very much, and have no control over. Once you become an adult, it changes. I bought a house recently, and I may not have my brother up to visit until he finishes growing up. Violent or disturbed people are really not worth being around.

billmerbach

Koda I've done that but he will not listen I need to get outta here and go live with someone but I need my car running first

billmerbach

One time I was mad at my father And raised a 15 inch cast iron frying pan to his head and he let off for a few fays maybe I should do it again and he will listen to me

coppercutlass

Problem is doing any of that won't help. You need to make it work until you move out. You can't blame your dad or your borther. Growing up I was a stingy mf'er I didn't like anyone touching my stuff or moving it. So I did what it took to secure it. When I was 12 or so my brother was 2 and I used to race rc cars ., and **** ain't cheap . I made sure he could not get to my stuff while being a kid that's what happens. Even today now that I have my house my fiance knows not to touch my ****.

69ishHoliday

Autism is a very real illness and unfortunately for you behavior control is a part of it. Try to be compassionate and do your best to keep your things put away and out of reach as much as possible. Violence is not the answer to the problems you are experiencing.

billmerbach

I understand this but hr does it to f&%$ with me cause he knows how much I value my stuff because of its price I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place

coppercutlass

That's siblings being siblings . Everyone messes with everyones stuff to mess with you . I have never had to deal with someone with special needs but you gotta learn to work with them.

billmerbach

Yea my concern is this is a budget build and he is trying to screw everything up and I'm afraid that he is I paid 90 bucks for it which I will never be able to do again and it took forever to find one in my area

4speed455

Autism is a mental disability. I suggest talking to your father about finding a working place for your stuff where your brother doesn't have access. Maybe put a lock on it with only you and your dad with the keys. I don't suggest bullying a handicapped child under any circumstances. And frankly I'm surprised others think that it would be acceptable.

69ishHoliday

me too!

Koda

Whipping someone's *** as punishment for breaking your stuff is not bullying.

billmerbach

I don't have any other placke to store it really and apparently koda some do consider it tjat

4speed455

You must have now knowledge of autism. I suggest you research it before you tell some kid to BULLY a mentally disabled child on a public forum. Would you whip a 2 year old for breaking your ****?

billmerbach

Guys I'm not trying to cause an argument

69ishHoliday

I'm not sure that the suggestions really come from simple ignorance. I think the intent is to cause harm to a handicapped child through provoking another young person.

Koda

Calm down. I suggest you act on this forum like you would face to face. You have no idea what I know of that disease, and you also are confused over what bullying is and is not. Amend your attitude, and we can discuss this further, or we can stop here if you can't control yourself.

69ishHoliday

Advocating a**-whipping between other peoples children is out of line, and when it involves a child with Autism it is worse.

oldcutlass

Calm down guys, I agree it's a complicated problem that needs to be handled by his parents. Autism is a hard issue to deal with in itself and I'm sure all involved are stressed.


Hopefully the head is not damaged.

MDchanic

I think it's hard to make any interpersonal recommendations to Bill without actually being in his shoes and understanding what's going on in his own family and community.

From everything I have seen him post, I have the impression that he is a young man who has been forced to be a bit too mature for his years due to family circumstances and dynamics, and who will do well as soon as he is just a bit older than he is now.
I believe, based on that, that his judgement of his best course of action is good, though, as we all know, 16 year olds can occasionally be somewhat impulsive.


As far as autism goes, one should understand that the term is applied to everyone from the kid who gets 100 on every math test but can't pass English, to the kid who stares into space but can tell you the day of the week of any day in history without thinking about it, to the kid with no recognizable cognitive or interpersonal abilities, who needs to wear a helmet because he bangs his head into the wall (I have personally dealt with a girl like this, who was blind because she had banged her head into the wall so hard and so often, and, yes, she still banged her head into the wall).
It is also applied incorrectly to some children by parents or "the system" because nobody wants to correct their behavior, or because it will increase revenue to the school.

We have no idea where in this "spectrum" Bill's brother falls, and while it would be entirely appropriate to physically correct some of these kids, it would be the kind of sin that would pretty much send you straight to Hell on the spot if you did it to others.

Bill has said that his brother speaks, and that he has explicitly said to him that he wants to mess up his engine, so I would tend to put him in the pretty darned functional category, and would believe that he is probably controllable with clear, consistent discipline, but that may simply not be possible within Bill's family as it exists right now, and it is really not Bill's job to do it.
From my personal experience, when my mom refused to discipline my younger brother, who was just a wise-@$$, and not disabled, and I took it upon myself to do it for her, I always got in trouble in the end, and I would guess that Bill really doesn't need any more trouble.

- Eric

billmerbach

You really are the Dr MD you hit that on the nail

Octania

16 & 13, yeah, part of that is normal sibling interaction

& 13-yr old PITA-ness

Your best courses may be to lock up what you can, and sit down with him and explain the goal- a running car for fun and stuff.... and how it affects you when things go wrong like the heads not being where they should be... the added costs, the extra time required... try to get him on board with helping. Point out that he may well benefit from the result as well. I certainly wouldn't advocate a butt whoopin' but you can get in a person's face and explain how angry destruction of your stuff makes you, without overdoing it. Bear in mind that your stuff is not really damaged [yet], right?


Attention cravers will take bad attention over none at all. So, if you can make it positive, well all the better.

Unfortunately you can't choose your family, and he will be your brother forever. The better you can keep things, the better for all.

76olds

My brother in law has Autism and he is so brilliant with electric trains. maybe he is interested in the car thing but feels left out JMO . They are so smart in some areas with an awesome memory. Take care of your bro !!!!

billmerbach

Ok thanks guys

Octania

If you could get him on board, helping, and enjoying the fruits... that would be superb.

Give him tasks he can handle, and then celebrate the victory when it's accomplished.

Like having an intern!

tru-blue 442

^^^Let him know you Love him
and want his help. You can do this Bill.

If that doesn't work, grab a head and say 'catch.'
A little tough Love never hurt, or maybe in this case...