http://detroit.craigslist.org/wyn/cto/2819562668.html
Not mine, Detroit craigslist.
I am not a racist, as matter of fact I am of mixed race (unspecified) myself!
But by looking at the grammar and spelling, I think we have an easy lawsuit against the Detroit school system!

"What is this world comming to" Buford T Justice

Sadly, Pat

 

RIP to that car....

 

good god!!! I stopped reading after the first sentence....

 

Oh Lord!!!!!!!

 

Jamesbo needs to take this guy under his wing with some spelling and grammar lessons Just received a lesson from him in the clubhouse
forum.

Go Jamsbo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Attention Mods!!! Please don't allow Jaunty75 to see this post!

 

Someone call this guy, get his address and mail him a 3rd grade spelling book. My grammar is not the best but that right there makes my 2 year old nephew look smarter than this clown.

 

"... a guarante sexy head turner this car brake people necks..."

"... no silly low blow offers"

No need to worry. He won't get any from me.

- Eric

 

I hear those Elderblock carbs are Da Bomb!

 

I bookmarked this ad, as it will come in handy during the next time I need to induce vomiting...

 

OMG, couldn't even understand half of what he was saying.

 

I thought he had an actual baby to sell the way he worded that.

 

What a dumb a$$! He totally made no sense...

 

Lemme guess...

Oh... I no have to.

 

He was trying to tell us about his car !?....Jaunty75 where are you?We need a translation....

 

MLK is spinning in his grave.....

 

And he wrote it all in text message format from his smurt phone

 

Ok, I will try to [translate] with occasional {commentary}.

God is so good, [God is good]
Who every u are flag'n me we can keep doing this i have nothing but time on my hands , [Please stop flagging my ad] {Who wouldn't after reading that gibberish!}
sorry people but this person needs to grow up if u have an issue with my add then be a man an call me an lets talk oh but u to scarry to call i understand lol grow up broke'e, [Unintelligible string of text]
I will have my baby up for sale at the end of this month i swear i do not wanna sale it im not really in a hurry to sale, [I would like to sell my car, but I am not in a hurry] {Then why are you placing an ad?}
An this is a true Best on the road a guarante sexy head turner this car brake people necks im not tryn to brag but she get's all the looks, [Looks good and is a head-turner]
It has a 350v8, [I think that it has a 350]
Its mounted up just like H3 Hummer for the Rim's [Has rims similar to an H3 Hummer] {Look nothing like Hummer rims, IF that is what you are trying to convey...}
a great sound system, [Has a nice stereo]
white an penut butter [White with tan top]
tint't window [Tinted windows]
to much to list [Too many options to list]

it does has light marks on the body very lite ege shell lines there no dents this is a dent free, [No major body damage or dents but has light scratches] {Methinks Bondo-bucket}
this is a clean cut car, [This is a clean car]
I have to get a few parts oil pan an choke for the elderblock carb, [Needs an oil pan and a choke plate for an Edelbrock Carburetor] {...and that is probably the short parts list}
I really dont care If I sale it or not, But I guarante u this u a star on the road in this best just let her do the talk'n an u sit back an watch [No rush to sell, but it looks great driving down the road]

I have will have to sleep [Unintelligible string of text]
If Its a fair trade maybe somethang from 94 to 96 imp ss,or 98 to 02 trans am but it has to look *** good as mind if not please dont waste ur time, [May consider a trade for a 94-96 Impala SS or 98-02 Trans Am, but it has to be in good shape]
No motor bikes no trucks,no av's or what ever u called them 4wheeler's,no snow mobile no junk [Will not consider a trade for Motorcycles, Trucks, ATV's or Snowmobiles]
thank u for look'n have a worderful day [Thanks for looking and have a wonderful day!] {Thanks! You too!}

Its to much to list call or text if u seris buyers only, [Too much to list, so please call or text. Serious buyers only.]
call al 248 214 1494 [Contact Al at ...]
askn price $6500 look'n close to it [Asking price is $6500 OBO]
no silly low blow offers [No low-ball offers] {I wouldn't give you $100 for that bucket!}

Quick Translation (or how I read it...):
Hi, I am selling a deuce and a half hooptie with stupid wheels, a boom-boom stereo, cheap pant, and and interior that was installed by someone on LSD. Runs like crap and won't start on a cold morning. It leaks oil, handles like a tank on stilts but people tell me that it looks tight. May consider trade for another POS of equal or lesser value.

 

I would look...and say 'what the *&%^!?'

 

I believe this what you call ebonics?
It's also very sad that people from foreign countries on our site, that have better grammar than this yahoo!

Pat

 

Okay, okay, let me try to translate it, with the understanding that I could never do better than chris did in his synopsis:

God is so good, "Allāhu Akbar (or, more properly: الله أكبر)"
This is the universal Muslim greeting, used in this case by a member of the Black Muslim Church of the US (now called the Nation of Islam), which was founded by Elijah Mumammad (Elijah Poole) in 1934, is based very loosely on actual Muslim teachings, and which is currently led by Louis Farrakhan. Malcolm X was a prominent member, until he renounced the church and was then killed by a church member. Cassius Clay (Mohammed Ali) was also a member (may still be).

Who every u are flag'n me we can keep doing this i have nothing but time on my hands ,sorry people but this person needs to grow up if u have an issue with my add then be a man an call me an lets talk oh but u to scarry to call i understand lol grow up broke'e,

Whoever you are who keeps flagging this ad for removal, we can keep going back and forth like this, because I have nothing but time on my hands [ie: I am temporarily unemployed]. Sorry, people, but this person needs to grow up. If you have an issue with my ad, then be a man and call me, and let's talk. Oh, but you're to frightened of me to call me. I understand. LOL. Grow up, buddy.

I will have my baby up for sale at the end of this month

I will be offering this car (not my offspring) for sale at the end of this month [which, looking at my calendar, appears to be now].

i swear i do not wanna sale it im not really in a hurry to sale,

I swear [to Jupiter and Neptune] that I don't want to sell it, and I'm not in a hurry to sell it.

An this is a true Best on the road a guarante sexy head turner this car brake people necks

This car is truly the "best on the road," a guaranteed, sexy, head-turner, so much so that this car breaks people's necks.

im not tryn to brag but she get's all the looks,

I'm not trying to brag, but this car gets a lot of looks.

It has a 350v8,

Somebody told me that the engine is a 350 V8.

Its mounted up just like H3 Hummer for the Rim's a great sound system,white an penut butter tint't window to much to list

It is high off the ground, just like a Humer H3 is, to clear its hideously oversized rims, had a great sound system, white paint and tan top, tinted windows, and too much more to list.

it does has light marks on the body very lite ege shell lines there no dents this is a dent free,this is a clean cut car,

There are light marks on the body, and some very light eggshell lines, but there are no dents. This is a dent-free car. This car is clean.

I have to get a few parts oil pan an choke for the elderblock carb,

It needs and oil pan (because I damaged it rolling over a fire hydrant) and a choke.

I really dont care If I sale it or not, But I guarante u this u a star on the road in this best just let her do the talk'n an u sit back an watch

I really don't car if I sell it or not [Really! I'm just listing it for fun!], but I guarantee you that you will be a star on the road in this car - just let the car do the talking [to the ladies, I presume], and you just sit back and watch.

I have will have to sleep

I'm so tired from composing this screed that the arms of Morpheus beckon sweetly.

If Its a fair trade maybe somethang from 94 to 96 imp ss,or 98 to 02 trans am but it has to look *** good as mind if not please dont waste ur time,

I will consider fair trades, possibly a '94 to '96 Impala SS or '98 to '02 Trans Am, but it has to have been as badly bastardized as mine's been. If it looks like a real car instead of a Matchbox car, don't waste your time calling me.

No motor bikes no trucks,no av's or what ever u called them 4wheeler's,no snow mobile no junk

I won't consider trades for motor bikes, trucks, ATVs, snowmobiles, or junk.

thank u for look'n have a worderful day

Self Explanatory.

Its to much to list call or text if u seris buyers only,call al 248 214 1494 askn price $6500 look'n close to it no silly low blow offers

There are too many great things to list [and still have any room for drivel], so please call or text me, but only if you are a serious buyer.
The asking price is $6,500. I'm looking to get close to that amount, so no silly lowball offers.

- Eric

 

Thanks for the translations ... I thought for a minture he was just typing out lyrics the next big R&B hit, NOW I see he's actually selling a Cutlass! lol..
I just had a thought, 20 years from now when we go to restore these body style Cutlass' and 442's we wont be saving them from rust, but instead, ripping out the crush velvet interiors, and taking out the Mid 70's K-5 Blazer suspensions...

 

On the flip side, 'Ready Freddy' from Sanford and Son could never understand the white cop... the black cop would have to translate for Fred. I enjoy the reruns when they come on. Same with All in the Family.

'ohh. It's the big one. I'm comin Elizabeth'

 

...Wait, I have to stop laughing.......................................... ............there

My car avoided that retro refitting, except for the headliner-a deep red leather-that Ithink I will keep-I use to think that was cool-it's what we did to these cars in high school!

 

Im of mexican descent and the only way this made some sense was if i read it with a heavy accent and really slow with alot of pausing in between words. My girlfriend overheard me reading it out loud and though i was prank calling someone. Btw chrisneu68olds and mdchanic Both hilarious translations.

 

I was doing the same thing...the pauses were for trying to figure out wtf this person was trying to say. I am not current on urban vernacular, (hence my use of the word "hooptie" which is about 20 years old now, but still makes me giggle when I hear it) but the paragraphs of nonsensical and misspelled words presented in the "ad" failed to present a point the first time I read thru it.

I read a LOT of documents and emails on a daily basis and I tend to skim thru them as quickly as possible, so this was a chore to read (and re-read, AND re-read) so I ended up with a headache from the actual words ('words' loosely defined), laughing and that sort of cocked eyebrow, head askew, like a dogs, 'huh?' look, causing eye and neck strain.

My translation was good, but Eric took the time to really dissect it so he wins!

 

I spat and choked on my coffee reading this line!

 

His grandmama must have picked out the interior fabric,it the gayest thing ive ever seen for an interior,and probably held on with staples and duct tape.probably needs to clean the blood stains out of the trunk first too.

 

The whole fire hydrant thing just about had me splitting my sides.

 

Urban Dictionary - "Hooptie" -
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=hooptie

• Any car that meets the following: a) driver must enter car through passenger side b) three different brand and size tires - 3 of them missing hubcap c) exhaust is held up by half a clothes hanger - other half replaces the antenna d) backfires every three blocks - loudest backfire being when car is turned off e) must open door at drive-threws as windows don't roll down f) you only get one AM station and the tape deck eats all tapes inserted g) can't open the glove box as the whole thing will fall out h) if you let go of steering wheel while driving you'll make a u-turn i) must manually move blinker lever up and down as it no longer blinks on it's own j) must keep one foot on brake and one on accelerator when at a complete stop k) has had the same temporary registration sticker in the window for the last 18 months l) has all the above issues but still has a $200 professional tint job
• Any car that I can afford since my second divorce.
• A junky, wothless car that the owner had put money into that only makes it look worse. Or even comical. Examples would be spinning plastic hubcaps, a fin, offroad tires, and a cheap stereo from Value City that will be stolen soon because the window will not roll up.
• Any car, typically an older or particularly cheap model, which has had more than its value's worth invested in aftermarket (and typically cheap-looking) modifications.
• The archetypetal hooptie is a beaten 70's-model American car with dark tinting and flashy (if not actually expensive) rims, but may include anything from an iced out Geo to a dilapidated van or Honda. Compare with beater; contrast with whip.
• Any car that has been pimped out at the Wal*Mart high school car section. Such enhancements might include but are not limited to the following: a peeling do-it-yourself tint job, chain links around the license plate, plastic hubcaps (4.99 when they've been rolled back), racing pads covering the seatbelts, excessive use of window decals, a sound system right out of the Wal*Mart electronics section, an overly aggressive after market spoiler.
• Broke down *** piece of **** car that yall dawgs b tryin to ride up in thinkin the lookin pimped wen they aint.
• Any car that the owner has spent more money on trying to spice it up than it is worth. If you come to Fresno, California, you will see an '83 Corolla with $2,000 rims or...or...HAHAHA! You will see a '94 Geo Metro with a $4,000 paint job and $3,000 rims I recently procured in a race because he thought it was fast.

Sorry had to add this...I can't make this stuff up.

 

lmfao a pimped out geo.

 

[QUOTE=1970cs;363945]http:// I think we have an easy lawsuit against the Detroit school system!

/QUOTE]

Yes, indeed - they uttlerly failed to teach their students not to mess up an Oldmobile like that!!!

Geez, I would hate to see the rest of the inside of the car. What is there looks like my grandmother's curtains.

 

Now, now. Just like kiddies playing T-ball, we're ALL winners here !

Your translation was great, and certainly mine was no better.

C'mon, you deserve mad props for "handles like a tank on stilts"!

And Bob and 1970CS: I wouldn't blame the teachers or the school system, and more than I'd blame your doctor because you're still smoking and get lung cancer. Teachers can only do so much - they've got to work with the miserable spoiled brats that we give them. If this dingbat never learned to speak English, when it's all around him, on bilboards, on TV, and in the movies, I'd say that's his problem. I've run into immigrants who learned English from scratch in a few years from only these sources.

- Eric

 

 

I think I figured out how he damaged his choke plate, most likley he was having trouble starting 350v8 with elderbrock carb, assuming that he had no screw driver probably labeled as TRUNK KEY to stick down choke plate he blended old skool with new skool by using his smurt phone as a butterfly opener, then he climbed down off his 2 15" sub boxes (aka ghetto ladder) hitched up his pants which were some around his knees at this point. Re stacked the subs again to enter the "donk", twisted another screw driver labeled IGNITION KEY and the car back fired and spit out the smurt phone damaging some of the keys on the phone making his text ad hard to understand!

Thinking that smurt phone was too light, I can only assume he got his 9mm with full clip (for added weight) and jammed it down the choke plate damaging the plate. He then tried to start the "donk" again(using the same ghetto formula from above) and had the car backfire again, this time spitting out the 9mm with safety off, the gun discharged hitting the oil pan when it hit the ground!

Of course this all speculation. If this insults anybody I am sorry ahead of time, but reading the funny posts, I had to throw in my two cents worth!