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Democrats, realizing the success of the President's "Cash For Clunkers" rebate program, have revamped a major portion of their National Health Care Plan.

President Obama, Speaker Pelosi, and Sen. Reed are expected to make this major announcement at a joint news conference later this week. I have obtained an advanced copy of the proposal which is named....

"CASH FOR CODGERS" and it works like this... Couples wishing to access health care funds in order to pay for the delivery of a child will be required to turn in one old person. The amount the government grants them will be fixed according to a sliding scale. Older and more prescription dependent codgers will garner the highest amounts.

Special "Bonuses" will be paid for those submitting codgers in targeted groups, such as smokers, alcohol drinkers, persons 10 pounds over their government prescribed weight, and any member of the Republican Party.

Smaller bonuses will be given for codgers who consume beef, soda, fried foods, potato chips, lattes, whole milk, dairy products, bacon, Brussel sprouts, or Girl Scout Cookies.

All codgers will be rendered totally useless via toxic injection. This will insure that they are not secretly resold or their body parts harvested to keep other codgers in repair.

Remember you heard it here first...

 

!!!!!
Awesome man!
Sounds like a good way to get the problematic drivers off of the streets as well...lol
Duane

 

Very similar to the program I came up with and posted about last week...."Cash for Crippleds"

 

Just remember most of the best cars are owned by codgers, we are the only ones who can afford them. turn me in and my cars go with me

 

Funny. Maybe not to far away!

 

 

I think may be it is time for me to go into hiding.

 

If I do not have my own codger, can I turn in someone unrelated?
I suppose I can disable 'em just enough with my wooden mallet to nab 'em and turn 'em in...
I like this idea. Improve healthcare as well as thin the population of weeds.

 

When soylent green starts showing up on the grocery store shelves its time to run.

 

Just remember you will be old some day too.
Alb

 

now that's funny.

 

ha ha ha lol thats as big a joke as the origional cars program

 

Listen to me, Hatcher. You've gotta tell them! Soylent Green is people!

 

i took your idea and posted a question on yahoo answers. some of the responses are good.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/in...4190228AABsUxd

 

If there is any truth to this, a whole lot of us on this site are in "BIG TROUBLE"!! As I see it, many of the younger people who would be turning us in wouldn't know how to find the turn-in locations.

 

Wouldn't be half as funny if the possibility wasn't there.

Jayzus horatio christ, don't give them any more incentives! A nut case like Madame Speaker would see possibilities in that! Run! Run to the hills!

 

To combat the ongoing obesity problem in America, they are also currently drafting a Cash for Chunkers bill.

 

can everyone post what there age is and what kind of car you have.

 

I would never think of turning in an Olds (or old car) lover - we are a special breed.

 

I LOVE IT I LOVE IT I LOVE IT

 

this is 10 minutes long but please listen to it. i feel this man was truly one of the greatest. this was recorded long before he was president.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fRdLpem-AAs

 

Euthanasia is on the way with this new "health" program. If you aren't worthy, you don't get the treatment. And even that will be rationed. How does that help "health". All it does is deny care to those who need it based on someone else's idea of worthiness. Taxes will be raised for all. Not just those who "make over $25,0000 a year". The moron said it himself when he stated, "Ups, Fedex, are all doing fine, it's the USPS that is failing."In that statement he inadvertently admitted that the government can't run anything efficiently. He said it himself.

 

Sadly, at work we have to fill out a big survey about our health and hobbies each year. If we do not, we are charged an extra 200 a year for medical. Of course you can fudge it a little to make it sound better...

I am waiting for insurance companies to require a written evaluation from a doctor each year to help them determine your rate...

 

you hit the nail on the head with the UPS, FedEx, USPS thing.

by the way, did you hear that FedEx and UPS were going to merge? they are going to call it FedUp

 

ha ha I like it fedup

 

[quote=z11375ss;100955]Euthanasia is on the way with this new "health" program. If you aren't worthy, you don't get the treatment.
Very True! Up here the government gets rid of all old and sick people.