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Old October 11th, 2009, 04:54 PM   #1  
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Italian Confession

Hope this doesn't fall into the non-religious talk

'Bless me Father, for I have sinned.
I have been with a loose girl'.


The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano ?'


'Yes, Father, it is.'


'And who was the girl you were with?'


'I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation'.


"Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later
so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?'


'I cannot say.'


'Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?'


'I'll never tell.'


'Was it Nina Capelli?'


'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.'


'Was it Cathy Piriano?'


'My lips are sealed.'


'Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?'


'Please, Father, I cannot tell you.'


The priest sighs in frustration.
'You're very tight lipped, and I admire that..
But you've sinned and have to atone.
You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months.
Now you go and behave yourself.'


Joey walks back to his pew,
and his friend Franco slides over and whispers,
'What'd you get?'


'Four months vacation and five good leads.'
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Old October 11th, 2009, 05:10 PM   #2  
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nice try Ken! There isn't a pure bred Italian alive that hasn't dated at least one girl named Maria and there aint no maria's in this story so I just don't think it happened!
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Old October 11th, 2009, 05:35 PM   #3  
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nice try Ken! There isn't a pure bred Italian alive that hasn't dated at least one girl named Maria and there aint no maria's in this story so I just don't think it happened!
I guess it's like a Greek family that doesn't have at least one male family member named Nick.
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Old October 11th, 2009, 05:56 PM   #4  
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I like Johnny Carson's high school girlfriend's name, Gina Statutori.

Then there was a girl that loved drive-in movies and had a reputation at my high school, Anita Backsieta.

I should behave myself, my mom was Italian.
Guess I'm part Italian too then?

Hey!
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Old October 11th, 2009, 06:49 PM   #5  
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About every Italian I've ever met loved a good Italian joke. Couple times I wasn't sure whether to laugh, and the reaction was "Aaay, you don't think our joke is funny? Wassamatta for youse?" So when the Italians started to howl laughing, that was my cue to join in.

And everybody knows Italians also love their Oldsmobiles!
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Old October 11th, 2009, 06:59 PM   #6  
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You guys crack me up!!
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Old October 11th, 2009, 08:35 PM   #7  
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About every Italian I've ever met loved a good Italian joke. Couple times I wasn't sure whether to laugh, and the reaction was "Aaay, you don't think our joke is funny? Wassamatta for youse?" So when the Italians started to howl laughing, that was my cue to join in.

And everybody knows Italians also love their Oldsmobiles!
I think that's pronounced "Oldsamobiles"
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Old October 12th, 2009, 06:41 AM   #8  
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LOL
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Old October 12th, 2009, 10:23 AM   #9  
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Oldsamobiles?

This is relevant being Columbus Day, Aaaaay Goomba!

My many relatives in Italy like-a automobile, how you say?...oh yes... she Scuderia Ferrari.

Everybody knows Italian guys love black Grand Prixs or Monte Carlos with a plastic fake red pepper hanging from the rear view mirror.

Cadillacs for the ladies, at work the concrete guys wifes show up all dolled up fresh from the beauty parlor on Fridays to grab their husband's paychecks in some sort of perfectly detailed brand new Caddy something.
If we quit early and they find them in the bar spending that check watch out.
The Redneck wifes will beat those poor skinny guys to a pulp right there in the bar on the spot if they catch them drinking their check, and do it one handed because they're holding a screaming baby in the other arm.
Then the guys will start crying and thank Mama for setting them straight and apologize all the way out the door, be back next week and do it all over again.

Last edited by Bluevista; October 12th, 2009 at 10:29 AM.
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Old October 12th, 2009, 10:49 AM   #10  
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mamamia.....
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Old October 12th, 2009, 11:14 AM   #11  
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Oldsamobiles?

This is relevant being Columbus Day, Aaaaay Goomba!
Recent studies have found out that Christopher Columb (known as Columbus) was actually Spanish. I know, I know, "Utsa matta for me?"
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Old October 13th, 2009, 02:32 AM   #12  
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Remember this one?

" wha'sa madda you, is'a nis'a place...

AAA, shaddap'a yo face!""

Think music! (????)

Ralph

Last edited by German442; October 13th, 2009 at 02:33 AM. Reason: sp
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Old October 13th, 2009, 08:49 PM   #13  
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Remember this one?

" wha'sa madda you, is'a nis'a place...

AAA, shaddap'a yo face!""

Think music! (????)

Ralph

LOL I just heard that the other day on the radio.
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Old October 13th, 2009, 09:44 PM   #14  
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Remember this one?

" wha'sa madda you, is'a nis'a place...

AAA, shaddap'a yo face!""

Think music! (????)

Ralph
Joe Dolce, Italian / American moved from Ohio to Australia in 1979 and recorded Shaddup'a your face in 1981.
Still the biggest ever selling song Down Under..... which is a worry. I was sure our taste in music was better than that!
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Old October 13th, 2009, 11:27 PM   #15  
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Joe Dolce, Italian / American moved from Ohio to Australia in 1979 and recorded Shaddup'a your face in 1981.
Still the biggest ever selling song Down Under..... which is a worry. I was sure our taste in music was better than that!
Jus' shows ta go ya!

Ralph
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Old October 14th, 2009, 08:14 AM   #16  
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being Italian is the one reason I can not drive a camaro, I like the cars but growing up in Chicago if you were Italian you had an Chevy IROC with a horn hanging from the rear view mirror.

By the way I have heard IROC stands for

Italian Racing On Cocaine

Italian Retard Owns a Camaro

and many versions there of
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Old October 14th, 2009, 08:36 AM   #17  
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being Italian is the one reason I can not drive a camaro, I like the cars but growing up in Chicago if you were Italian you had an Chevy IROC with a horn hanging from the rear view mirror.....

What's a mattta you? In Italia we no needa rear view mirror. What's a behind you isa no matter (Think back to: The Great Race - movie)
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Old October 15th, 2009, 06:33 PM   #18  
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What's a mattta you? In Italia we no needa rear view mirror. What's a behind you isa no matter (Think back to: The Great Race - movie)
I think you mean "The Gumball Rally"
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Old October 16th, 2009, 12:10 AM   #19  
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who are the worst drivers??

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What's a mattta you? In Italia we no needa rear view mirror. What's a behind you isa no matter (Think back to: The Great Race - movie)
In Sydney we have a couple of Italian suburbs, one being "Fiva Docka" or Five Dock to the rest of us. Epping is a big Korean area, Cabramatta is Vietnamese, Auburn is Turkish, Fairfield is Assyrian, Campbelltown is Pacific Islander, Bankstown is Lebanese, Hurstville is Chinese, Plumpton is Indian etc etc. I drive through these areas a lot and I would have to say, while each has it's idiosyncracies, Epping is the worst. Koreans have no idea how to drive.

How goes it over there?
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Old October 16th, 2009, 11:44 AM   #20  
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Around here it's the farmers who think they are still in their tractor or the old , old , old folks who drive the biggest cars they can find. little old ladies who have to look under the steering wheel
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Old October 16th, 2009, 11:50 AM   #21  
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In Sydney we have a couple of Italian suburbs, one being "Fiva Docka" or Five Dock to the rest of us. Epping is a big Korean area, Cabramatta is Vietnamese, Auburn is Turkish, Fairfield is Assyrian, Campbelltown is Pacific Islander, Bankstown is Lebanese, Hurstville is Chinese, Plumpton is Indian etc etc. I drive through these areas a lot and I would have to say, while each has it's idiosyncracies, Epping is the worst. Koreans have no idea how to drive.

How goes it over there?

Sound like Los Angeles
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Old October 16th, 2009, 12:17 PM   #22  
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In Sydney we have a couple of Italian suburbs, one being "Fiva Docka" or Five Dock to the rest of us. Epping is a big Korean area, Cabramatta is Vietnamese, Auburn is Turkish, Fairfield is Assyrian, Campbelltown is Pacific Islander, Bankstown is Lebanese, Hurstville is Chinese, Plumpton is Indian etc etc. I drive through these areas a lot and I would have to say, while each has it's idiosyncracies, Epping is the worst. Koreans have no idea how to drive.

How goes it over there?
Neat! Different monikers for different shanty's.
Around here, it's more like you take your life in your hands if you want to drive. Speed limits and rules of the road are gradually being phased out by lack of law enforcement. Signal lights being replaced by the one finger salute, brakes being replaced by louder horns, bumpers being replaced because theyre used a lot.......
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Old October 16th, 2009, 12:56 PM   #23  
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Aaaahhhhh....Road Rage! It's that 5:00 Five hundred and I run it every day.....
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